Woman tells boyfriend's family the truth about who bought their house. AITA? UPDATED

"AITA for telling my boyfriend's family that I bought our house, not him?"

This whole thing started last month or so. Me (27f), and my boyfriend (26m) who I will call Matt for privacy sake, have been together for six years now. I’m the main breadwinner, and that has always been a struggle in our relationship. I would say he is pretty insecure of earning less than me.

About a year ago I had finally saved up enough to purchase a house in the neighborhood I really like. Up until then, me and Matt had been living in his apartment, which is cramped, and not located in a nice area.

Matt has never been too bothered about moving, he likes living in his apartment, and he doesn’t mind living elsewhere, as long as doesn’t have to pay more than half. knowing damn well I could easily purchase the whole house, and it was a bargain for the area, I bit the bullet and bought it from all my own savings. when we moved in Matt loved the place, and i thought everything was fine.

Now this is the reason I am posting. Two days ago, me and Matt were over to his moms place for dinner. conversation was going fine until the topic of our house was brought up. MIL mentioned how proud she was of Matt for owning his own house at 26 which I was confused about, but obviously didn’t want to start anything at the dinner table.

then matts sister chimed in about how much of an achievement it was. Matt looked over at me, not saying anything. I’m not usually a petty or confrontational person, but something about the fact that I was the one who not only bought the house, but also payed majority of the bills, and Matt didn’t even drop a dollar, stuck with me.

So I decided to say something. I asked Matt who really bought the house in front of everyone. I know, it was a bad move but honestly I was so riled up by that stage. Matt said nothing and then I announced to everyone that Matt didn’t even contribute to buying the house.

Immediately after saying that I packed up my stuff and went home. I have been texting with matts sister I will call Kate, who seems to be on my side. Matt is staying with his mum right now, so I have the house all to myself. He hasn’t contacted me yet, and I don’t know whether its worth breaking up over a lie like this. Am I the ahole?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Eastern_Condition863 said:

NTA. The fact that he said nothing actually speaks volumes. He wanted to look like a big man while riding his GFs coattails. As for the breaking up part, I think would depend on what he actually told his family. Did they assume he contributed? Or did he tell them he did? If he told them he did, he's stealing your valor. Get him out.

bloom_inthefield said:

NTA. He shouldn't have told his family he bought the house if he didn’t. Simple.

EfficientSociety73 said:

NTA and Matt can move back in with his Mom. He’s not a partner to you if he’s willing to let them make assumptions about the house YOU bought and not correct them. And it appears he expected you to let it slide like it’s a non issue. BS.

He didn’t buy a house, you did. If he wants to claim ownership of something, he should have at least stepped up and helped out. Instead he let his family think he was doing super well and taking care of you when it is obviously the other way around.

camkats said:

NTA, and yes this is worth breaking up over because next he will want you to put him on the deed. Then he won’t pay anything- you will be footing the bills, be responsible for the mortgage and then he will own half because you put him on the deed. Walk away quickly! His family should be mad that he blatantly lied to them as well.

NiceRat123 said:

NTA. I mean I would have a serious conversation and see what shakes out. If he starts laying in to you about embarrassing him, I would kindly point out you don't like him taking credit for your accomplishments.

I don't give a crap if his ego is bruised but the fact he just sat their quiet and just let people praising him for something he didn't do would really bother me. It'd bother me more if he circles back and is "upset" you "outed" him.

Low_Monitor5455 said:

NTA. Use this moment of clarity to have some self respect and logic and dump this chump. Enjoy your house and living on your own for a bit. When you do meet someone - make sure THEY have enough self respect and care enough about you to contribute to your life together.

When you 100% support someone, with nothing back or accomplished like you were with Matt - what you are really doing in buying their company and time. Please respect yourself more that needing to pay people to be your partner.

UPDATE:

So, some stuff happened today. Matt (fake name for boyfriend) came back to the house. I was assuming he was coming back to get his things and leave, but I was unfortunately very wrong.

He literally told me he could forgive me, and that he was moving back in (as if that was a good thing) i was so shocked, but he was deada$. So as any sane person would do, I grabbed all his remaining stuff, gave it to him, and told him to gtfo.

He got really mad at that, and I was worried he would get aggressive, so I called Kate (SIL) for backup. she was really helpful, and drove Matt home. As soon as I can, I’m changing locks.

As for some of the comments, I pay the mortgage, and I don’t even think Matt knows what a mortgage is. I live in Canada, so I’m not sure if I have legal rights to kick him out? He has stayed with me just over a year. I am trying to seek some lawyer advice. thank you all for your help, and i will try update if I can!

Here's what people had to say about the update:

Livid_County2552 said:

You're doing the right thing. Change the locks ASAP. Since you're in Canada and he wasn’t on the lease or mortgage, he's likely not a tenant—so you can make him leave, but check with a local lawyer to be safe. Document everything, especially any threats or aggressive behavior. You're protecting your home and peace—stay firm.

davekayaus said:

NTA. Don't let him in for a second, and watch out for him having mail delivered to your address under his name. If that happens return all of it to the sender.

West-Kaleidoscope129 said:

His mum has had enough of him already and told him he needs to go back home to you because he can't stay there. That's why he came back. Good for you! Still NTA.

claudiaxbigg1 said:

NTA. You bought the house. You pay the mortgage. He’s just been living there. He’s not entitled to anything, and he clearly has no respect for your boundaries or achievements.

1RainbowUnicorn said:

NTA. HE was going to forgive YOU? Ha ha! Get a couple cheap ring cams in case you need evidence to get a restraining order. Document everything. Especially, that he moved out to his Mom's house, then that he TRIED TO MOVE BACK IN, but you said no. That will be important that he left of his own free will and then tried to decide he wanted to move back in.

Technically, you did not kick him out, you just refused to take him back. I would get some bear spray on a key chain to carry with you just in case. You can call a domestic violence shelter for more advice since you are afraid he might escalate things. Good luck!