Woman tells ex's family the truth about why their engagement ended, 'she was clearly jealous.' AITA?
"AITA for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents?"
I (26f) was engaged for more than a year but called it off in October. My family and friends knew but not a lot in my ex's family and friends knew. His parents had grown frustrated by the chaos in their family that to them seemed to follow the end of our engagement and they and my ex's grandparents approached me to ask why I'd called everything off.
This is so messy and I feel dumb for not worrying about it but I'll explain what happened and what I told them. So my ex's brother and his wife were trying to have a baby for a while and failed. Not long after ex and I got engaged, his brother and SIL asked if my ex would donate sperm. They wanted to act like his brother was the bio father, but they'd be honest with the kid.
My ex and I talked about it and I was fine with it. I helped him get the samples and his brother would come and collect them and take them to his wife. It took quite a few but it worked. Only when she got pregnant finally she started acting weird toward me. She was jealous. Like clearly jealous.
She made snarky comments toward me and glared at me when I'd see her. This was going on for a few weeks. When ex and I were shown the ultrasound photos, she looked pissed that he was hugging me while we looked. Then she came to the house when I was alone and she accused me of coming between the brothers, and wanting her child to grow up an only child. Like this was seriously out of nowhere.
It made me feel off about things and I asked her why she was acting like a jealous girlfriend or mistress. She lost it and told me I needed to back off. I confronted my ex and he played dumb. He said he had no idea why she was behaving that way. But I didn't buy it and then his brother asked me if I thought his wife was being weird with my ex. I said yep.
We both confronted them and she asked why it mattered how she'd gotten pregnant as long as they got the result they wanted. Ex's brother almost attacked my ex. Ex was saying it wasn't like that and the turkey baster method wasn't working and it was all about his brother and how nothing else happened.
He really thought we'd buy that. I walked away from him that night and I gave back my ring. Ex tried to fight for me to forgive him but I just felt foolish for agreeing to begin with. I don't know what's going on with the brother and her. I didn't stay in touch.
But I told ex's parents and grandparents that my ex was intimate with his brother's wife and that it got messy because of the baby. They thanked me for my honesty and apologized for asking me.
Then a few days later my ex DM'd me on Instagram and asked why I had to mess with his family like that and he said I was intimate with his brother over more than he already had. I blocked him (it was a second account I forgot about). But I feel bad if I highlighted what his brother's dealing with before he was ready to tell anyone. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
farvag2025 said:
NTA. He kept a secret from you, which is never good. But this isn't hiding a Pokémon obsession or splurging on a gaming PC without asking. This is effing around on you and lying about it. Leaving him was just being sane about things. But his family asked. You answered. It wasn't your job to keep his secrets, especially since you're not a couple anymore. It is literally not your circus, not your monkeys.
iknowsomethings2 said:
NTA. You didn’t owe him silence. His family approached you. And he cheated on you with his brother's wife. He’s a POS. Sounds like they deserve each other. I feel for the brother, but that’s not your responsibility.
ArgumentSpiritual714 said:
NTA. You didn’t create the mess, you were just honest about it when asked. Your ex’s family had the right to know what happened, and you gave them the truth. It’s understandable that they might have been upset, but that’s on them for asking in the first place.
Your ex clearly didn’t own up to the situation, and you were left holding the bag. It’s not your responsibility to protect his family’s reputation when they were the ones involved in the drama. You don’t owe him anything, especially after everything that went down. If anyone’s in the wrong here, it’s your ex and his brother’s wife.
MoonlightSunbeamCha said:
NTA. Honestly, you were just being real with his family. They asked, and you told them the truth. It’s not like you went out of your way to spill the tea—you were put in a position where you had to explain. It’s a messy situation, and it’s not your fault that his brother’s secret got exposed. If anything, your ex should have been more upfront from the beginning, and maybe this whole mess could’ve been avoided.
Very_merryberry said:
NTA. You didn’t mess with his family... they did that themselves. You simply answered a question honestly. Your ex literally slept with his brother’s wife after the “turkey baster method” didn’t work, and they thought this wouldn’t blow up? That’s not on you.
If his brother wasn’t ready for the family to know, maybe they shouldn’t have created a scandal in the first place. You’re not the villain here, you were the victim of a messy, betrayal-filled situation. Don’t feel guilty for telling the truth, they created the drama, and now they have to deal with it. You dodged a major bullet.
stullenandy1234 said:
NTA. Do not ever talk to this guy again. He has shown just how much he respects you. Also, be glad your name isn't on his lease. Hopefully his momma can cover his butts rent since she looked so far down on you