Woman tells sister's fiancée that she caught her with another woman, 'I am a horrible person.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister's partner she has been cheating?"
I, 23 female, have a sister, Anna, 35 female. We have gotten closer over the past 5 years since my father died 6 years ago. Anyhow, my sister has been dating Brodi, 34 female for the past 13 years, and around 5 years ago, became engaged, Anna proposed by the way.
They had postponed the wedding in 2020, and last year Brodi got into a car accident that left her in the hospital for 4 weeks. Anna was amazing throughout this whole process. Anna handled all the hospital bills for Brodi, also closing on their new home at this time. Anna has done very well financially and has a steady job, so money isn’t a problem.
Anyway, they planed on having their wedding in September of this year, having it be in the fall, this is one of Brodi’s dreams. Anyway, a week ago I went over to their house to drop off my 1 year old daughter, Cooper, because of something at work. Anna knew of this and Brodi was out of town at a concert with her bestfriend Derek and his boyfriend Maverick. She would be back in two days. Anyway I knock on the front door and am waiting for Anna to answer.
I am waiting for a couple minutes when Anna opens the door in only a towel. She greets me and says hi and that she will be done in the shower if I could wait a minute or two. I said it’s fine when a woman comes down in a towel. I immediately freeze and then say WTF is going on? Anna says please don’t say anything to Brodi. I ask Anna how long this has been going on for and she tells me 2 years.
I turn around and leave at this point, horrified of what I saw. I drive over to my mom’s, which is only about 5 minutes away and drop Cooper off and go handle the work emergency. I pick up Cooper and hour after from my moms and go home. When I get there I get a call from Anna, saying that if I tell Brodi she will never talk to me again and that I am a horrible person.
I immediately hang up the phone. I am shocked to hear her say this. I’m the horrible person?!? I think about telling Brodi or not telling her, and I settle on talking to her when she gets back. Fast forward to Brodi getting home. We all went to a party for my cousins birthday at my mom’s house, mind you I still haven’t talked to Brodi and am currently ignoring Anna. A couple hours later I find Brodi alone in the kitchen. I ask her how she is and she says that she’s worried about Anna.
She continues to explain that since she got home she has been acting weird and distant and very protective of her phone. I decided that now is the right time to tell her. I told Brodi what I saw and what Anna said to me. Brodi starts crying but thanks me for telling her and I give her a hug. After a couple minutes she calms down and asks me to get Anna for her.
I asked what she was going to do and she says that she is calling off their wedding and going to break-up with her. I ask her if she is completely sure this is what she wants, and she says 100%. I then go and ask Anna to come with me. She follows me into the kitchen and then Brodi tells her that she is calling off the wedding. Anna starts asking Brodi why and Brodi says that she knows that you have been cheating on me for 2 years.
Brodi then pulls off her engagement ring and throws it at Anna. Brodi storms off to the bathroom while Anna starts yelling at me. She goes off and is saying that I am going to burn in hell and that I am the worst sister ever. My mom then comes in and asks what’s wrong. I then tell her everything, while Anna leaves the party. I then go check on Brodi and we come out to talk to my mom.
My mom completely understands Brodi’s situation and takes her side completely. Anyway, Brodi stayed with me and Cooper that night. Then next day I have been getting calls from my aunt saying that I am an ahole for telling her. I am starting to think I am in the wrong, but I need some insight. So AITA for telling my sister's partner she has been cheating?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Deucalion666 said:
NTA cheaters don’t deserve sympathy.
CarpeCyprinidae said:
NTA, he needed to know and you stood up for what was right.
Cost-Clear-Cut474 said:
No, you're not wrong for telling your sister's partner about the cheating. You did the right thing by being honest with Brodi and supporting her.
cachalker said:
I’ve got no sympathy for cheaters. That drops to below freezing when the affair has been going on for years. To be honest, all you really did was save Brodi from weeks of agonizing over Anna’s changed behavior…the emotional distance and phone protectiveness. Brodi was going to figure it out. She was already on that path. So NTA for saving Brodi from the anxiety of not knowing for sure and the inevitable mind games Anna would have played.
Honest-Raspberry-208 said:
NTA you didn't tell her anything she wasn't already suspecting. Block anybody who feels cheating is ok and should be kept secret, they are not trustworthy people.
Knittingfairy09113 said:
NTA If your sister didn't want anyone to tell Brodi then she ideally shouldn't have cheated at all. Since she chose to cheat, then she shouldn't have had her affair partner over when she knew you were coming by.
Think_Effectively said:
NTA. Sometimes it is not easy to do the right thing. But that did not stop you. You did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.