Woman uncovers family secret right before cheating sister's wedding, 'it broke my heart.' AITA?
"AITA for exposing my sister’s affair right before her wedding and uncovering a family secret?"
I (27F) have always lived in my older sister Anna’s (28F) shadow. She’s the golden child—brilliant, popular, and adored by our parents. I’ve always been the “wild” one who can never do anything right in their eyes.
Anna has been engaged to Jake (30M) for over a year. He’s a genuinely great guy who treats her well, and he’s even become a friend to me. But about six months ago, during a family gathering, Anna got a little too drunk and confided in me that she was cheating on Jake with her high school ex.
She insisted it was just a “temporary fling” before settling down and begged me to keep it a secret. I felt conflicted but figured it wasn’t my place to interfere. Last week, Jake came to me, glowing about how lucky he felt to be marrying someone as “trustworthy” as Anna. It broke my heart to see him so blissfully unaware, so I finally decided I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. I told him everything.
When Jake confronted Anna, she denied everything and accused me of lying out of jealousy. Heartbroken and confused, he went to our parents for support. That’s when things really unraveled. My parents defended Anna and revealed that they had covered for her before.
A while back, she had a brief affair with a married professor during her last year of college. When the affair came to light, my parents helped her transfer to another university to escape the fallout. They convinced her to break things off quietly, promising that no one would find out about it.
Now, faced with this history of cover-ups, Jake was understandably devastated—not just by Anna’s infidelity but also by my parents’ willingness to hide the truth from him. He called off the wedding, feeling betrayed by both Anna and my parents.
Since then, my family has turned against me completely. They’re furious, accusing me of ruining Anna’s life and “destroying the family reputation” again. My parents have cut off communication and told me I’m “jealous” of Anna’s success. Some relatives have even contacted me, calling me selfish for “interfering” in Anna’s life.
To make things even more complicated, Jake reached out again, asking if he should contact Anna’s high school ex to get his side of the story. I’m torn between wanting him to know the truth and fearing it will just create more chaos. So, AITA for exposing Anna’s affair and revealing my family’s history of covering up scandals, even if it means losing my family?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this:
Trailsya said:
I wouldn't get involved in contacting that high school ex and I would block family members who are crying about this. She was being awful to him, so don't feel sorry for her. NTA.
Final-Edge-8197 said:
NTA people shouldn’t expect other people to keep their dirty secrets. Nobody needs that kind of negative energy hanging on them.
Jokester_316 said:
YTA. The time to tell him the truth was 6 months ago. You did the right thing in letting him know the truth. She was never going to stop cheating on him. Why would she? As for your family, what is there to be jealous about.
Your sister is unfaithful, and your family covers her infidelity. She's not a trophy wife. Your parents enable her sh$%ty behavior. She won't even think of changing until she faces the consequences.
DawnShakhar said:
NTA. Jake deserved to have the truth and not be coerced into marrying a cheater. You did the right thing. As for Jake approaching your sister's ex - that is up to him. You shouldn't make that decision for him.
ciaran668 said:
NTA. Your sister sounds like a horrible person and quite possibly a narcissist, and he absolutely needed to know the truth. From your brief description of your family dynamic, I think you are better off without them, as in their eyes your sister can do no wrong, and you can do no right. They are enabling her bad behavior and refusing to allow her to face the consequences of her actions.
I hope you have people in your life who love and respect you, as it seems like your family does not, and that's very sad. Still, stay strong and know you did the right thing, and the necessary thing.
Material_Cellist4133 said:
NTA. And this is a toxic family. You are better off by not having them in your life. It looks like if Anna committed murder or theft, they would fabricate evidence to keep her safe, maybe at your expense. Give Jake the phone number. He deserves that especially after you let him be subjected STDs diseases for 6 months while you hid your sister's affair.
MombieZ3 said:
NTA for telling him. He would have found out at some point since she has a pattern of cheating. I'm sorry your family is being toxic but you did the right thing.