Woman won't invite sister to wedding after her brain injury; disinvites upset mom.

Many people dream of having the perfect wedding day. It's a day that's for you filled with so many choices like venue, food, and guest list are just a few of the hundreds of choices involved in wedding planning. All of these choices will have future consequences, intended or not.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A%#hole Subreddit, a woman doesn't want her sister at her wedding because she fears her TBI will distract her mom.

She writes:

"AITA uninviting my mom from my wedding, she kept insisting I invite my sister?"

My (28) sister, 'Anna' (25) suffered a traumatic brain injury in a car accident. She doesn't get a lot of social cues, is slow to respond, and sometimes throws tantrums like a moody teen. I love and care about her, but the easiest way to explain it is that she sometimes acts like a child.

I'm getting married early next year, and my wedding day is something I've dreamed about for years. I'll put it bluntly, I don't want Anna to attend the wedding. Mom would be hovering over her (I know this might sound selfish to some, but I want my mom to be there for me for one day), and she might be distracting during the ceremony or reception.

I suggested we book a room for Anna at a nearby hotel, and if needed, Mom can go check in on her (I say this because she can stay alone and has stayed alone in the past).

Mom said I should be including Anna. I tried to explain to her that I just wanted my perfect day, but she didn't want to hear it. We aren't allowing kids under 13 at our, and I made the mistake of bringing that up in front of my mom in relation to Anna and her behavior, which didn't go over well.

My mom and I had a major argument, and I uninvited her, saying she should think of me for a second instead of Anna, and if she felt so strongly, she didn't have to come at all. I'm hurt because I'd like my mother to be there for me on my big day, but this is just all blowing up.

Mom got upset and called me a selfish brat. A couple of my friends say I'm in the wrong here, so I decided to post.

The internet specializes in judging wedding plans.

klurtin says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole) You want one day to be special where you are the focus, feel important and valued by your mother, and feel you matter. It will not matter if it’s your wedding or a regular Sunday. You want to feel 100% seen by your mother. I get it. You are not an a%#hole to want this.

However, your sister can’t help her situation, and that’s what people are focusing on. Many responders may never have lived in a family where one member takes the lion’s share of the focus. What your asking for is one day to be more about you. But the problem here is that your mother is not on board.

She wants your sister included; whether she comes or not, your mother will never give you the focus you want and desire. You will always be second. I’m sorry. Maybe it is best if neither comes or if you have your sister and mother there, know your mother will ensure your sister’s comfort over your celebration.

Beanisbae says:

I'm pretty strongly disagreeing with you on this to a full OP. Is YTA (You're the A&%hole) based solely on her comments? This isn't a matter of one kid growing up ignored by a special needs sibling. OP commented that the crash happened in 2021. Op was 26, and her sister was 24—both fully grown adults.

OP has only been a lesser focus for two years, while her sister has dealt with the immediate aftermath of a life-changing injury. Two years is still coping time for this, not permanently settled. I think OP is being incredibly unfair here.

The behavior of her sister that she described in the comments also doesn't seem particularly extreme or interruptive. Just a slightly lower emotional control. It just feels like YTA territory.

xiionaa says:

This is rough but YTA. You're excluding your sister from an important day in your life because she can't act 'normally' due to her TBI. I understand wanting 'My One Day' but, real talk OP, is one day. When you look back you won't have your mom or your sister in your photos.

When asked about it, what will you say 'I invited my mom but not my sister because I didn't want her taking attention away from me since her TBI happened. And then, when my mom confronted me about excluding my sister, I told her not to come too because again, I know she wasn't going to pay any attention to me.' Is one day out of a calander year really worth the permanent fallout?

OP is having an adults with able-bodied brains-only wedding.