Woman demands SIL's kids clean her house because they use her bathroom, SIL refuses.
Building a home from scratch takes a lot of time and patience. The foundation, structure, and floor plan are all important to nail down well. If you choose this route, it's helpful to use professionals, but if you want to save money doing it yourself is the way to go. Hopefully, you have a reliable family to make it manageable.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A%#hole Subreddit, a woman demands that her nephews clean her house while her SIL builds her own.
Her SIL writes:
My SIL lives in a relatively large six-bedroom farmhouse on 10 acres. We are building a home across the street, and in the meantime, we have a camper parked on SILs property. We only go into her house to use the bathroom or shower (we have electricity in the trailer but no running water).
The rest of the time, we are across the street building, and our kids (14m, 12f, 8m) are with us helping. We pay SIL $180 a week to park our camper there, which is the campground price.
Late afternoon yesterday, my SIL asked us to all come inside to talk, and she pulled up her chore list with my kids' names added to it. Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, cleaning countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping cook meals (we do not eat with them), etc.
She said, 'Does this work for you? I won't let anyone clean the bathroom because I'm the only one who does it properly.' I immediately said no. My kids don't even go in her house unless they are showering or sh%#ting, so if anything, I'd make them clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house they don't use.
I'm not making them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom after they've been helping us all day with building our home. My SIL, who works all the time, says, 'The kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone, and I always come home to a trashed house, and I didn't before you guys started staying here.'
She's not putting two and two together because her daughter (12) has had consistent friends over the past two weeks since school let out, and her husband (46m) does nothing to parent, which I brought to her attention. My kids don't eat her food at all, either.
I've made a point to preach to my kids about minimizing our footprint here for this specific reason (her trying to blame my kids for her trashed house). My husband says I should allow her to add the kids to one or two weekly chores to keep his sister at bay, but I've refused. As I've stated, we pay to be here and do not go indoors unless it's for the bathroom.
My kids will not be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom, and I have since told my husband we need to create an outhouse system (on our property) so we don't have to go in there at all. He says I'm making things more difficult when in reality, I'm protecting my kids from being used. AITA?
The internet suggests investing.
Swiss_El_Rosso says:
NTA (Not the A%#hole). Try to get a portapotty or similar system in your yard as soon as possible. Did you have water in your yard running?
Invest some bucks in installing your bathroom temporarily; it will be worth every cent. It will give you freedom and peace.
MasterKilvin says:
NTA. She's either trying to get free labor or being willfully ignorant of her daughter's behavior. You pay rent, anything more is extortionate.
SnooBunnies7461 says:
NTA. Your SIL is blaming your kids because its easier to do that than see her child and her husband are the problem. I agree with setting up something at your new property so your kids don't have to enter her house. Maybe a compostable toilet and outdoor shower would work while you are under construction.
Your SIL is using the ignorance is bliss method of parenting.