'AITA for making my fiancé sign a prenuptial agreement?'
"AITA for making my fiancé sign a prenuptial agreement?"
I have a significant income, and I expect it to grow more in the coming years. My investments will also mature, making me reasonably wealthy. I'm emphasizing this to highlight that in the event of a divorce, I have a lot to lose.
I've told my fiancé several times that I won't marry without some form of protection or guarantee for my financial future. At the time, he agreed, but now I think he just said what he needed to convince me to accept the marriage. He probably didn't think I was serious, but I certainly was.
I discussed this with my lawyer, and she drafted what I consider a very solid prenuptial agreement based on my concerns. She even suggested adding an infidelity clause, something I hadn't thought of but readily accepted.
I talked this over with my fiancé and told him to review the agreement with his lawyer to see if we can reach mutually acceptable terms. He was VERY offended that I even felt the need for one. To say he got upset would be an understatement. He was particularly offended by the infidelity clause. I certainly did not expect this reaction from him. However, in the end, he agreed and signed.
His reaction is making me have doubts. Before signing, he claimed that I'm not respecting our relationship and that I'm expecting him to fail, which is not true. However, life is unpredictable, and anything can happen at any time, so I'm just trying to protect my financial future in case of a divorce. I'm starting to question everything after his hesitation, especially regarding the infidelity clause. Am I wrong in this?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
And what happens if you cheat?
AdvisorSea4600 OP responded:
I will suffer the same penalties if he had done it.
INFO: Did your fiancé take your advice and review the agreement with his own lawyer before signing?
AdvisorSea4600 OP responded:
Yes.
Cybermagetx said:
Nta. Prenups are there for the worst case. If he doesn't think that will happen then the prenup is just some paper. If he doesn't wanna sign, no marriage.
RNGinx3 said:
NTA. I learned the hard way “the person you marry is not the same person you divorce.” I didn’t have a ton of assets but I had my bills paid on time and savings in the bank.
He wiped me out and took everything that wasn’t nailed down. I left with the clothes on my back and a few things he didn’t want that wasn’t worth monetary value (like our wedding album).
Turn it around on him: if he really loves you, he wouldn’t care about the prenup, the assets or the money, because they’re not his anyway and he loves you for you, not your money…right?
DVIGRVT said:
NTA. You're protecting yourself. You hope it'll never need to revisit it, but in case you do, you'll be glad you have it.
reginafelangi123 said:
NTA! Any lawyer worth their weight will tell you to always get a prenup, even if you think you don’t have a lot in assets. And they should all definitely include an infidelity clause. Your fiance is being a big fat baby. His reaction would make me question if I’d even wanna marry him anymore. Ick.
new_fella said:
NTA and I find it very suspect that he didn't think you were "serious" and proceeded to argue with you about it. One thing I always think about when a prenup story comes up is that some day you guys might have kids.. This could be Generational wealth if handled correctly.
The fact is if everyone puts their intentions on paper it can't be misinterpreted later. You really would think a comfortable life and a successful wife would be enough for your partner. I'm suddenly curious about his personal finances.
panachi19 said:
NTA and I’d also be concerned about his reaction.
You did the right thing by drawing up a pre-nup but your fiancé’s reaction is awful. Please postpone the wedding until you are sure of this relationship.
AdvisorSea4600 OP responded:
I'll do that. I just talked to him, and he says it's a lack of trust, and that I'm suspicious of him. Anyway, he wants to address this issue. I already see a positive aspect in that.
He's an idiot for signing a 1-sided pre-nup and you are about to marry an idiot. No judgement.
AdvisorSea4600 OP responded:
He reviewed it with his lawyer, who found it fair. Only he didn't handle it very well, but in the end, he accepted it.