Woman asks if she's wrong for refusing to follow 'no phones' rule at wedding.
Would you surrender your phone to attend your friend's wedding? What if you were worried about a member of your family?
Reddit user u/FineLobster6036 initially agreed to go along with her friend's 'no phone' rule at her wedding, but then her dog got critically ill and she wanted to be able to check on her sick pet. The bride was enraged she broke the rule.
Now, this wedding guest is asking, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for refusing to follow the no phones rule at a wedding?'
She writes:
One of my best friends (28F) just got married. When she invited us, she did tell us that she wanted the entire wedding (ceremony and reception) to be as phone-free as possible, so we would have to leave our devices with someone and just enjoy the event. We (as in, the whole friend group) agreed.
The day before the wedding, though, my dog ended up feeling badly and we had to rush him to the emergency vet. I think he might've been poisoned, but the vet's not sure yet.
At any rate, by the time the ceremony rolled around he was still not out of the woods, and it cost me A LOT to even attend the wedding. I love that dog to pieces, and I was scared to death.Yet, I've been very close friends with the bride for a very long time, so I really couldn't miss it.
'I assumed that seeing as it was an emergency situation she would've been fine with me keeping my phone. She wasn't.'
She took me aside during the reception and told me she was very hurt by the fact that I didn't even respect her enough to follow the one rule she'd set for her wedding day. She told me that there were other people there who'd given up their phones even though they were in a similar situation.
Apparently, I'd disrespected them all and their efforts by being selfish and doing as I wished. I didn't argue back for the sake of not making a scene, but I did leave shortly after. My dog is fine, now, so I've started to feel a bit guilty. I really am not sure. Was I an asshole?
Reddit users all agreed that this wedding guest is 'Not The A**hole.' It's not like she was checking her Facebook in the middle of the ceremony. She just wanted to be alerted to an emergency with her beloved sick dog.
Silencing phones is one thing, but everyone here, at least, agreed that this 'no phone' rule was made to be broken. What do you think?
NTA… honestly, your friend sounds like she is. She actually had someone at the reception collecting cell phones? And was so bothered that she pulled you aside during her reception to “scold” you? What if it was a child with a babysitter and something happened? Or a parent fell ill? I would think the bride would have more important things to do than worry about policing cell phones at her reception.
Especially with this context, you are 100% not the asshole. First, there’s no way in hell I would dump my phone in a bin along with a bunch of other people’s even if nothing was happening. These things can cost upward of a thousand dollars and I’m not running the risk of it getting stolen or misplaced.
Second, extending the phone ban to the reception is absolutely crazy. It’s a party and the couple should be polite to guests, not saying “since we took all your phones away now you HAVE to have a good time!” Lastly, you had a legitimate reason to check your phone anyway. Your friend is being crazy
NTA. You can keep the phone on silent and still have it with you in case of emergencies (especially if a loved one’s health is at stake and you’re waiting for updates on them, or if you have kids that are left with a babysitter, and so on), it’s not disrespectful as long as it doesn’t interrupt the actual ceremony.
A wedding is a special day but it doesn’t take precedence over emergency situations. That’s why they’re called ‘emergencies’ and not ‘attend to this at your earliest convenience’ situations.
NTA. The bride sucks though. That would be a wedding I wouldn’t be attending. I pay my cell phone bill and emergencies can happen at any time. Also if I’m at a wedding you can bet your ass I’m taking wedding selfies and pictures in general.
Similar situation? What, other guests had dogs at the emergency vet for poisoning that day? Unless it actually rang during the ceremony, NTA. I get not wanting phones and disruption during a wedding ceremony but expecting people who may get an emergency call to relinquish theirs is stupid.
Collecting phones during a wedding or any other event is absolutely insane. Let's gather up the often $1000+ device that has everyone's banking info, passwords, accounts, and contacts and put them in one location with potentially minimal supervision. Surely nothing bad can happen.
Not to mention that OP had a legit emergency on their hands with their pet. That alone is a reason to have their cell on them. On silent of course, but easily accessible regardless.
NTA. You had a valid reason to have your phone with you. And if other people are fine to be happy and think about their problems when they all had emergencies (As the bride has said) good for them. Your friend is AH. Honestly would reconsider the whole friendship.