Woman's rich husband and MIL bully her into being a stay-at-home mom, 'I paid for our house.' AITA?
"AITA? My husband and mother-in-law are bullying me into being stay-at-home mom, but I paid for our house?"
My husband is rich. Like, makes $50,000 a month rich. We agreed on three things before our baby was born. If I covered the 20% downpayment on our house he'd cover the monthly expenses including childcare.
If I leave my (high paying) job after my mat leave was up my husband would support me focusing on building my consulting business which would give me more flexibility with our baby.
We'd get a full time nanny so we could both work (and while WFH get to see the baby) and outside nanny hours we'd split childcare 50/50. The issue came up when now my husband refuses to lift a finger because he's the "provider."
He won't do any overnights even though baby takes bottles. I am exhausted and burnt out and feel like I got bait and switched. I tried to talk to him and he blew up at me calling me a princess and lazy.
I guess he ran to his mom because I got a message the next morning saying I am putting the family in financial crisis if I don't be a SAHM for at least the next couple months. AITA to telling them no I will not be forced into being a SAHM?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
FIRE_flying said:
NTA. You need to look after yourself and your child. Your husband is trying to control you. Please be careful in how you handle your situation. Can you reach out to your family for help, and to get some sleep?
StrangledInMoonlight said:
If he makes $50k a month and you working puts “the family in financial crisis” there’s a giant line of BS. Is it mom or husband lying? Maybe he lost money gambling or doesn’t make that much money, or maybe he lied to mom or she’s lying to you.
cthulularoo said:
Time to look for an exit. If he's throwing the "I'm the provider" line around now, you're not going to enjoy being dependent on him for money. If you have to move back to your family to get support do that. NTA.
Cutecuddler22 said:
NTA. Marriage is not a one way thing. He’s supposed to help out with things in the house.
Maleficent_Count6205 said:
I would ask “how is me working and bringing in an income going to put my family in financial stress?” Because that sounds like a bunch of garbage to scare you into listening.
Jolly-Bandicoot7162 said:
Do not give up your job. He will control you financially if you do. How on earth would NOT being a SAHM cause financial hardship? Especially when he earns so much? For most, it's more likely having a SAHP would cause financial issues. NTA. I'd be making sure I had the means to leave if I needed to.