'AITA for calling my nephew a 'sad beige baby'?' UPDATED
"AITA for calling my nephew a sad beige baby?"
Designer_Detail_865
I have two kids (a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old girl), and my sister has a son who is 1.5 years old. She's a mommy blogger and embraces the "white, beige" aesthetic. This preference reflects in every room of her apartment, including seasonal decorations, and she's quite intense about it. I've never said anything to her about it as it brings her joy.
Some months ago, I stumbled upon a TikTok channel where a woman adopts a fake German accent to "review" fashion for what she calls "sad beige babies." I think it is really funny. It has become an inside joke at our home.
During our recent visit to her apartment with my parents and husband, my nephew was seated on my lap. We were playing. I was wobbling him on my lap and pretended to "eat" his little arms. As I was talking gibberish, I unintentionally slipped into the "sad beige baby" persona. I genuinely didn't anticipate it becoming an issue.
However, when I mentioned "sad beige baby," my sister became furious. She expressed frustration, stating she's tired of people critiquing her decorating preferences.
When my brother tried to explain that it was meant as a joke and that she is "too intense" about her anesthetic, she angrily spilled her red wine on the white tablecloth, exclaiming, "Are you happy now?" She then asked us to leave and has since inundated me with direct messages on Instagram, sending me numerous mommy accounts sharing the same aesthetic.
My mother believes I should apologize for my unintentionally rude comment. I'm utterly taken aback because, in truth, it wasn't even directed at my sister. My nephew happened to be wearing a beige sweater and made an exaggerated sad face, which prompted laughter, thus me calling him a "sad beige baby."
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
lfpod
I’m having a hard time saying YTA because I love sad beige accent lady and this is definitely something I would struggle to refrain from making a joke about. You probably shouldn’t insult your sister if you don’t have that kind of relationship but I still LOL’d a tad.
MapleTheUnicorn
Yta - apologize and maybe try and learn something from this.
yesnomaybenotso
YTA. Your family has an inside joke at the expense of your sister? Thats rude af. Your sister clearly has some issues dealing with her emotions for her to spill the wine, but I have a feeling her family brings out the worst in her.
Also, people with minimalist and white/beige aesthetic are sometimes doing that as a way of sterilizing their living space because they feel dirty inside due to sexual trauma in their past. Who knows whether or not this is the reason for why she’s so obsessive with it, but I’m guessing you and the rest of the family don’t know either since you all just make fun of her for it.
glenmarshall
ESH. Your family dynamic has enough flaws for everyone.
lihzee
YTA. You're an adult and a parent - I find it hard to believe that you "accidentally" slipped into this persona. It was intentionally rude. Grow tf up.
jimbob19304
YTA. You couldn’t even keep your judgemental attitude toward your sister out of the first paragraph. I bet she’d be thrilled to find out about her whole family laughing at her behind her back. You should apologise.
The OP responded here:
Designer_Detail_865
There is no judgment. She is intense about it. But it brings her joy.
Tilly_ontheWald
NTA for playing with your nephew, but you should apologise to your sister. She is hurt by it and it was a silly thing to say in her home when you know she takes her aesthetic so seriously. Just an "it reminded me of a meme, but saying it was thoughtless and I shouldn't have said it knowing how proud you are of your home. I'm sorry".
livelife3574
NTA. Stupidity like this beige nonsense deserves mocking. That poor kid.
Miserable_Humor5422
Joke or not YTA I've never heard of sad beige baby. Well I have now and I have to say, If someone made a comment like that towards my child, I wouldn't be happy. If comments have already been made towards her about her aesthetics, it'll no doubt already be a touchy subject. Saying something like that at her child will no doubt cause her to react badly.
Odd-Writer2153
YTA. Stop being such a judgemental AH about how someone chooses to dress their child. Of course you're an AH for mocking how a baby is dressed. How would you like it if someone made a joke about how your daughter dresses? Making fun of people is not "slipping into a persona," you're just a bully.
Update from the OP:
Yes, I tried to apologize. This is also not about if I should apologize or not. Even if I was 100 percent in the right, I would still apologize for hurting her.
We don't bully my sister. The only time we make a comment is regarding her son. Like when family and friends gift him something colorfull and she throws it away on donates it.
The sad beige baby is not an inside joke about her. It's an inside joke of a tiktok account. BTW, I was informed that Warner Herzog is not a designer. Lol. I had just taken that for granted.
Yes, I also call my children sad beige children. Like when they say they want a new toy or something, me or my husband go like " a sad beige toy for a sad beige child"
We also call them feral trash baby, stinky man, poopy gremlin, and more. They call us stinky goblin man and gobbo. Also it's my sister not my sister on law.