Woman snaps at SIL after she throws used baby clothes in washer, 'I'm a clean person.'

Nothing can fully prepare you to become a parent. It's a completely life-changing experience that looks and feels different for every person. But that doesn't mean you can't try to set yourself up for the best transition possible.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for snapping at her SIL after she threw a baby gift in the washing machine. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my SIL that she doesn’t have to wash everything before her baby is born?"

My SIL is expecting her first baby at the end of this month. I have three kids. My youngest just turned one, so I have a lot of baby stuff (baby swing, clothes, toys, etc) that we don’t need anymore. Instead of donating them, I thought it would be nice to let my SIL and her wife look at them before.

I brought them over and they picked out what they wanted/needed and my SIL immediately put it in the washing machine. I’m a very clean person, and all of the baby stuff was clean, so I confronted my SIL. I asked her why she needed to clean my stuff if it wasn’t dirty, and she knows I’m not dirty.

My SIL said that she’s cleaning everything and named a long list of things she’s cleaning/cleaned for the baby (sterilized all bottles and pacifiers, washed all blankets, clothes, etc). I told my SIL that it’s pretty stupid to wash everything because what if she wants to take something back, and it’s not like cleaning everything in her house is going to make her prepared for her baby.

Nothing prepares you for your first. My SIL took this as me being mean, but I was trying to be helpful. She should enjoy her last few weeks of pregnancy instead of cleaning everything. My SIL’s wife told me that “we are allowed to do things differently with our children.” I pointed out to them that they’ve never had children, so she’s going to feel silly for doing.

I also told them that when I was pregnant with my first I didn’t want to listen to anyone, and I regretted it later. They will too. My SIL made it seem like I was being an AH, but I don’t see it. AITA?

Edit: I know what “nesting” is, and obviously I wanted everything clean and perfect too. However, when one of my family members gifted me something, or if someone I KNOW is clean and takes care of things-I didn’t throw it in the washer. I might be coming off as nitpicking, but when someone throws something in the washer that came from your house like it was something dirty you would be annoyed too.

The jury of the internet adjourned to share their verdict(s).

Cjack66 wrote:

She's nesting. You're being petty and insulting. YTA.

beckdawg19 wrote:

YTA. Literally everyone I know washes donated clothes, especially donated baby clothes. You made a whole thing out of nothing.

bandoghammer wrote:

YTA. Seems like you immediately took her washing your stuff as a passive-aggressive comment on your cleanliness, and then went reaching for reasons to justify yourself instead of just backing off and letting it go. She's a first-time mom, and you're calling her stupid and telling her that she's doing everything wrong! Back the hell off!

OrangeCubit wrote:

YTA - why does it matter? She’s a first-time mother, she’s washing things. There is no need to call her stupid.

Foggy_Radish wrote:

YTA. Your baby stuff needed a wash even if it was clean when you put it away. It doesn't hurt to freshen things up even if they were still clean. Why is this something you chose to fuss at her about?

Cleaning everything in her house will sure make those first few days/weeks out of the hospital easier for her. Also, cleaning can be considered nesting behavior. Many pregnant women "nest" before giving birth.

A quick google search will show: This urge to clean and organize is known as nesting. Nesting during pregnancy is the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby.

The nesting instinct is strongest in the later weeks coming upon delivery. - there is nothing wrong with what your SIL is doing. It's perfectly NORMAL. Put your jealousy away and let her enjoy her remaining pregnancy.

Clearly, OP was being an insecure AH in this scenario. Hopefully, she's able to step back and reflect.