Woman won't share son's special birthday cake; gets called 'selfish.' AITA?
He just wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
This story is equal parts about immaturity and social etiquette. Throwing a party involves a great deal of social etiquette and that can be hard to balance when children are involved. One mother just wanted her son to have a good birthday and thought she had made the right call to accommodated that. Her sister-in-law loudly disagreed.
"AITA for not sharing my son's birthday cake?"
My (30f) son's (8m) birthday was two weeks ago. He wanted a pistachio cake, but nobody in our family likes it. So I agreed with him that the biggest cake that would be at the party would be a chocolate cake while he would have a pistachio cake saved in the freezer just for him.
The party took place in our backyard, the whole family was there and the kids had a great time. We sang happy birthday to my son and went to cut the cake.
While my mother-in-law and husband distributed the cake slices, I took my son inside and cut a big slice of his cake so he could eat it. The cake I bought for him was the size of a bento cake, so it would be enough for a toddler.
When we left, my sister-in-law who is also a mother looked at my son's plate and saw that his cake was different. She was surprised and asked where this other cake was, because she and her daughter wanted to taste it.
I replied saying that I couldn't share because this cake was just for my son, as he doesn't like chocolate. She called me selfish for denying her and her daughter a slice, and after that, she commented to everyone at the party that I had another cake hidden at home.
Many people ignored it, but some were curious and asked me why I didn't share the other cake. I explained the situation and still they kept calling me selfish. My husband and my mother-in-law told me I didn't do anything wrong, as I was resolving a situation with my son, but I'm still in doubt if I'm really right or I was an a$$hole. So AITA?
The opinions on this one were surprisingly varied.
NTA. I'm honestly having a hard time wrapping my head around adults demanding to eat a child's birthday cake at his own party.
Kinda- I mean ur cake ur money- but… like ur inviting them and it’s kinda expected to have desert. Like they only wanted a taste, so that implies they would be ok with just a little. It’s ok, but I would probably apologize if I were u and give them some cake or something.
So if your son had allergies, your SIL would have stolen his cake? Why is this adult woman wanting to steal a child's cake? I would have replied 'Why do you want to steal the birthday boy's cake? Have you no shame? What's with all of you seemingly adult people wanting to rob the birthday boy of his cake?'
Next year either have a smaller party without those selfish people or buy the biggest pistachio cake you can find and insist that everyone eat it since that's what they wanted this year. And nobody better leave the party without finishing the cake.
And every time there is a family get together, bring a pistachio cake, especially to any party that SIL has. Tell everybody that she wanted it so badly at your son's birthday so that's what she gets from now on. I'm just petty like that.
ESH. To avoid this type of issue, and uphold basic party etiquette, you should have gotten a cake that he was willing to eat at the party with all the guests, and waited until after the party to bring out his own cake. If the pistachio cake was meant to be just for him, the other people shouldn’t have been aware of it.
That said, adults getting cranky about not getting another slice of cake is super immature.
YTA. It is pretty basic manners not to eat food in front of guests that you don't want to share. You should have had the pistachio cake at another time eg with dinner on his birthday or just served up both cakes or only served up pistachio cake at the party. I probably wouldn't make a fuss over it but I would be side eyeing your lack of manners.
Were all these people also questioning these wrapped packages that your son received and wondering where theirs were? NTA. This day is about your boy and no one else.
ESH. The cake the birthday person wants should be the main cake. If the other people don’t like it whatever.