Man says it's wife's fault waitress insulted her; says, 'you asked for it.' AITA?
If you can't take the heat, get out of their kitchen.
One man was nervous when his wife wanted to go to a themed restaurant. The theme? Mean. He was worried that his wife was too sensitive to handle it. Now, he's in the dog house for what the waitress said to her.
"AITA for telling my wife it’s her fault the waitress called her fat?"
My wife recently wanted to try out this restaurant by us, where the servers are mean to you. I thought it was a bad idea, since my wife is a very sensitive person. I told her it was a bad idea but she insisted she’d be able to handle it.
So we went. My wife has gained a lot of weight since we got married, since she “already hooked me and doesn’t need to try anymore” (her words not mine). She’s over 250 now. Anyway, when we went to the restaurant. There were a few snide comments directed at me at the beginning, which I thought were funny.
When it was time to order, the waitress said to my wife, “what will you be having? I’d recommend water and our smallest side salad. Seems like you haven’t had one of those in a while.”
My wife cried and immediately left the restaurant. She’s been moping and crying for the last two days. I spent the last two days trying to comfort her, telling her I don’t think she’s ugly, etc.
Today she kinda threw a fit and I snapped, and told her it’s her fault she’s upset and she shouldn’t have insisted we go there to begin with. I told her I’m done with her pity party and she can call me when she gets over it.
I’m staying at my brother's house right now where I can actually relax, and not have to walk on eggshells. It’s been great. My wife and her family have been messaging me calling me an a**hole, but my family thinks that they’re wrong. AITA for telling my wife it’s her fault the waitress called her fat?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. As a woman who has been happily married for many years, the parts that jump out to me are her saying she hooked you and doesn’t need to try anymore, that you have to walk in eggshells around her and that her reaction to this comment has been so upsetting to her for so long. Personally, I’d be miserable in your shoes.
How do you feel about her saying she doesn’t need to try anymore?
OP responded here:
Miserable. I feel like when we got married she was a completely different person. Not just looks but personality wise too. We used to go hiking, surfing, etc. that’s who I am, and she’s admitted she just did that stuff to please me. Now she just hangs out at home eating or goes out to bars/restaurants with her friends, since she doesn’t need to impress me anymore.
So she basically committed personality fraud to catch you? That is not a marriage that I would want to continue being a part of....
OP responded again here:
That’s basically it, yeah. Her mom is a mess and does the same thing basically. The woman is on her fourth marriage. She goes back and forth from stepford wife to raging alcoholic. I don’t know why she though following in her footsteps would be a good idea.
INFO: Do you require assistance in locating a local divorce attorney? I'll be glad to help.
OP again responded:
I want to give things a try a little bit longer, I think her mother was a bad influence and gave her some bad habits that could maybe be fixed somehow.
With all due respect, she said herself that she only did that stuff to please you. Even if her bad habits do get fixed, you wont get back the person you thought you had married because they were never real.
Wait, there's a restaurant where you go to on your own, and you know you will be insulted by the waiters? And then your wife insists on doing that, and then cries because she got insulted? What is she, 12 years old?
I really don't see how you can be made an asshole here, unless we're missing a big part of the story (for example, the part where you say 'she threw a fit' - was that maybe caused by you telling her that she actually IS overweight?), so, NTA.
NTA. There are restaurants where the gimmick is the staff are rude, offensive, insulting,etc. It’s not my cup of tea but I get why they’re popular to some people. Clearly your wife knew exactly what kind of place it was and what kind of thing would happen. I don’t get why she would go if she was that sensitive about her appearance.