GF leaves BF over his reaction to Barbie movie; now he's dating his cousin. CONCLUDED
This Barbie girl kicked him out of her Barbie world.
"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend over the Barbie movie"
notalaskakidd
I (23F) literally dont know what to do right now and I feel so helpless turning to Reddit for advice/validation. But, three days ago my bf (23M) and I went to go see the Barbie movie.
I’ve been really excited as I’m a huge Greta Gerwig fan and my bf liked Ryan Gosling. Other than him being in the movie, my bf didn’t know anything else about it. I, on the other hand ,was aware of its feminist themes and was secretly hoping my bf would get the message.
Over the duration of the movie, I could tell he was getting more and more uncomfortable and upset and I was getting really sad (both from the movie and his reaction) and I knew we would end up having a conversation about it afterwards.
He didn’t talk to me until we got in the car. He then told me that he was really offended by the movie and said that it was the kind of thing I should have watched with my girlfriends and not him.
I understood where he was coming from but I’m not going to even start explaining why I disagreed.
We have been having problems with his weird comments about women, the lgbtq community, and other stuff. He would deem it “btch sht”. Maybe it was a long time coming but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I was tired of having to always deal with his attitude and disrespect and was also maybe on this girl-power high. So, i told him it was over.
The complicated part is this: he lives (lived) with me. He has been in between serving jobs and since he was my freaking boyfriend I let him move in with me 6 months ago.
Living with him is a whole other story but I couldn’t take it anymore and had him leave my apartment the next day. I stayed at my friend’s house while he packed up his stuff. He said he understood and that he “didn’t want to live with me another second anyway”.
I assumed he had a place to go but apparently he didn’t. His brother called me a few hours ago saying he’s MIA. His friends are blowing up my phone saying the same thing. I feel like this is all my fault.
No one has heard from him in 24 hours. I did think it was weird when I came home and all the food in the fridge was gone, all the batteries in our electronics drawer were gone, he took my phone charger, and half the blankets. I know now he did not in fact have anywhere to go (or a car. He had been using mine since his engine busted last month).
The worst part is we still have his location and it’s saying he is two states away. I don’t know how he got there. I can’t believe this is all because of the freaking Barbie movie.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
knight9665
U can break up for any reason you want to. And he is a big boy he can take care of himself.
uglycatthing
Also you aren’t responsible for his actions post breakup. He obviously has people he could have turned to. This isn’t your fault. ETA: NTA
Overall-Scholar-4676
He’s MIA by choice. You got his location so his phone is working. He’s just refusing to answer. I doubt he had no where to go. Sounds as if a lot of people are texting you.
If he got 2 states away with all the things taken from your place someone had to pick him up. I don’t see anyone stopping for man holding his thumb up for a ride carrying loads of crap with him.
Fun-Dependent-2695
Sorry he lacked the Kenergy to step up when he needed to.
I know it hurts right now, but you absolutely did the right thing.
clarityandhonesty
The Barbie movie is just one thing on top of everything.
Why do YOU break up? What was your thoughts and feelings in this situation? How you think now?
NTA for things that happened later. He is a grown up, therefore he should be capable to live on his own. It is not you job to get him a warm place to sleep. He also does not want to be with you „didn’t want to live another second with you“.
Boeing367-80
OP, this is not your fault. Reasonable people do not have this kind of reaction to going to a movie.
It sounds like your ex was in the process of falling down some kind of rabbit hole - maybe some kind of toxic Andrew Tate like masculinity thing. That's obvs just a guess. It's classic that this happens to a man leeching off his GF.
His reaction to the movie was unacceptable and sounds like it came as a culmination of other unacceptable behavior. And then it sounds like he basically stole a bunch of stuff from you. Sending him packing was a reasonable and likely overdue reaction from you.
Yes, it is concerning that he's basically vanished, but that is between him and his family and friends. He is an adult, he's allowed to vanish if he wants.
Answer his family's questions simply, but do not accept guilt. Your actions were reasonable given his unacceptable behavior, both before the movie and in reaction to it.
The OP recently returned with a very interesting update.
'UPDATE: i broke up with my boyfriend over the Barbie movie”
notalaskakidd
Hi everyone. I know everyone says this but I really didn’t expect this to blow up. I'm a little embarrassed but in light of everything I’ve learned over the past 24 hours I’m once again oversharing on Reddit.
Before anything else, I wrote that post in a frenzy of panic and guilt. With a clearer head I can recognize that yes, we broke up because we were incompatible and I was at my limit- not because of a movie.
Some people were saying I maybe needed the Barbie movie more than he did since I was clearly dating a jerk, and to that I agree. I was convinced I loved him but I think I just didn’t really understand my value/feel deserving of someone better. I’ve learned my lesson, and as a woman of color, I will never let myself be treated like that again. My biggest regret is that the my loved ones had to endure him as well.
Well, I’ve been cheated on before. But I usually find out and then we break up. Since I found out about my ex’s cheating, after I broke up with him I’m not exactly torn up about it. I feel like I skipped the questioning and sadness and went straight to the “over it”. But since I have everyone’s attention I'm just gonna put him on blast right now.
(I can confidently say his beliefs were the worst part about him and I’m not extremely surprised that he didn’t respect me enough to be loyal.)
But the way I found out was actually kind of funny. His brother has been keeping me semi updated on the missing Ken situation but I haven’t really been asking any questions other than how he and his family are doing. They’re not mad at me as they are aware of the situation. His brother even thanked me for “taking care of (him) for as long as (I) did”.
He texted me this morning around 9 saying we don’t need to worry anymore because he’s at their cousin's house in Colorado Springs. Then, around 12 in the afternoon I got multiple calls from a friend of his saying that he heard from my ex. This friend sucks so much I’m not even gonna get into it.
I supremely regret giving him my number. He was obviously under the influence of some sort (not to judge but literally 12pm crazy talk) and he’s telling me stuff like “(he) is literally so much happier now that you let him go” and that “(he) just felt bad for me” and that I was “charity work”.
And then he said, “now he can be with his main for real. (his name) getting some real p*ssy now..” literally pause. I asked him to clarify and he gave me that “oh shiii” laughing guy thing they do when they say something they weren’t supposed to. Then he said f me and hung up.
The potentially craziest part (that has been getting to me) is that he is definitely at his cousin's house. His brother confirmed. I think I'm going crazy because I’ve seen his cousin on his insta feed before and she’s literally stunning.
He said she’s his second cousin and so... I don't really know how related they are. If this is real, I can’t even comprehend what this means. Maybe it’s not real idk but I think it’s the perfect ending to this story. I’m not gonna update anymore after this because I feel like I’m already gonna regret this update.
But, final notes: He must have taken all the stuff from the house out of spite. I found out he took the batteries from the remotes, and my hair blow dryer too. (???) idk how he got to his cousin’s house (I didn’t ask) or what happened to my dyson air wrap but maybe his cousin/girlfriend is using it now.
In the spirit of barbie she can have it ig. and yes i know i said ryan renolds when it was Ryan Gosling. like that one comment said facial blindness is real. That’s all.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this final update:
Healthy-Cook9209
did not see this coming. what a kenundrum.
rmjpc
So he's a bigot, thief, and potentially a cousin-f*cker?
You didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a cannonball.
Tar-Nuine
'Bigoted misogynistic ex cheats with cousin' is not how i was expecting this story to go. But trash is trash i guess?
sauceysalsa
Girl you better file a police report over that Dyson! Those things are $600 😭
peppermintwist
Here's to hoping Barbie wakes up more women and they learn their value ❤️