Me (26) and my ex gf (25) were together for about a year. Some weeks ago, we were hanging out with some of her friends (not the friend in question), We were playing a little quiz game, and one of the questions that popped up involved cheating.
I mentioned that I hate cheaters, and after that, I noticed one of the friends give my ex gf a look, and also noticed my gf got a bit uncomfortable. It was weird, and got me thinking. The next day, I asked my ex gf about it. She said that she wasn't gonna lie and admited that she cheated on her ex. This was a year before she met me.
I felt upset about it because she's never mentioned it before, and I asked what happened. She mentioned that one time she got drunk, and hooked up with her friend. Let's call him B. B is a former FWB of hers, and they still hang out regularly. I knew that my ex gf and B had a history, and while I didn't like that they hung out, I just dealt with it.
I was pretty upset, because not only did I find out she was a cheater, but she still hung out with the guy. I told her I needed some time to think, and after 2 days, I decided to break up with her. I didn't want to tell her that she can't be friends with B, and I knew I couldn't deal with her still being friends with him, so I just removed myself. So, AITAH?
What do you think? Is he the AH? Commenters didn't think so. Here are some of the top comments:
If this had just been a previous fling that would be one thing, but with your girl being the cheater and he being the AP? No. You did the right thing. NTA
About two weeks after his original post, he shared this update on the situation:
Since so many people took interest last time I figured I'd update you all. So about a week after I posted my original post, my ex gf dropped by my place. She said that she wanted to get back together, and that it was silly of us to break up over this. I told her that I'm just not comfortable with her friendship with Byron.
She said that her cheating with Byron was a mistake. But that was in the past, and she's grown. I told her that it doesn't really look like it, she goes out drinking with Byron very often, and you two were hooking up after you and your ex broke up. ( They were fwb before AND after her ex). I told her I'm just not taking a chance to be her next sucker.
She then said "What if I cut off Byron? Can we get back together then?" I was tempted for a second tbh. Our relationship seemed great. But I remembered some of the comments I read in my last post, and I asked her, "Have you been sleeping with Byron since we broke up?"
I had never seen such a poor poker face. She stumbled her words, and said no. I gave her a look like "That's b.s." She saw this and said "I mean, we were broken up..." I just put my hands up, and said "Nope" I then asked her to leave. She was really upset.
**8.5 months after his original post, he shared this newest update**
It's been kind of a long time since I first posted about my ex. I actually ran into her into a party recently. We talked and were cordial. We didn't talk about B, but she was with someone else at the party. She was uncomfortable with me meeting her new guy.
I managed to catch him alone later, and told him about B. His reaction was pretty tame, he was like "Sh!t, really? Well, thanks for letting me know" Idk what happened after that, but I wasted too much time with my ex, I figured I should help the next guy out. As for me. Something I didn't realize is how damn good it feels not to have to worry about my gf anymore.
I'll be honest, even before finding out about the cheating, I never felt quite comfortable with her going out drinking with B. But now? I feel amazing. I don't have to worry about my gf anymore, and I wish had left her sooner. I'm still dating around, and there has been ups and downs, but being single at this moment, feels so much better than anytime I spent with my ex.
