Man won't to let nieces and nephews at his house, BIL calls him 'selfish.' AITA?
Your house is suppose to be a place you can truly call your own.
One man was upset when he was scolded by his sister and brother-in-law for trying to keep it that way. He's happy to babysit, but he refuses to let his nieces and nephews come to his home. His sister and brother-in-law say he's being selfish, but he says he's just respecting his girlfriend.
'AITA for not watching my nieces and nephews at my house?'
I (M32) have been with my girlfriend (F29) for 8 years. From the very beginning we have been childfree. My girlfriend isn't a big fan of kids, and while I love being the fun uncle, I love being able to give them back.
Some background - My girlfriend is incredibly introverted and suffers from anxiety. Because of this, she is definitely a homebody and prefers hanging out at home with our two dogs. She likes things quiet and calm and definitely thinks of the house as her safe space. I completely respect that.
I watch my 2 nephews and my niece, 7, 5, and 3, once in a while for my sister and brother in law. I always go over to their house to watch the kids. Partially because all their stuff and toys are there and it's just easier, and because I know my girlfriend wouldn't enjoy having them over at the house. Plus she didn't agree to watch them so that wouldn't be fair.
We've had some really lovely weather lately and my sister and BIL have been asking me to take the kids over to my place to watch them instead. They live in a townhome and don't have much of a yard while we are pretty lucky and have a pretty large backyard. I've offered to take the kids to the park instead if they want some outside time.
Neither my sister or BIL like this much. They say that they would rather have the kids in a safer fenced in yard to run around and play than at a public park.
It all came to a head this past weekend. My BIL called and asked if I was available to watch the kids. I told him sure that wouldn't be a problem. He, politely at first, asked if he could drop the kids off with me for a change.
I told him no I would come to them. He got a little frustrated and said the kids really needed some fresh air and to get their energy out. I said Okay we can go to the park.
He exploded at me and told me I was an a**hole for never letting the kids come over. He said never mind he didn't want me to watch them because I was too selfish.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. You're providing a service. No one is entitled to your service or your home. And the whole weirdness about public parks is just weird.
I'm guessing they are wanting to drop kids off somewhere and pick them up at that place when they are done doing whatever activity they have planned, meaning they don't want to be interrupted.
I get it, getting time alone in your home without kids is next to impossible, but you don't throw a fit when you don't get it. I think I got an hour or 2 to myself 3 times a year when hubby would take them shopping for Mother's Day, my birthday and Christmas.
Except OP was actually offering to take the kids out of the house, leaving the parents alone. Decent offer - not sure why the parents are being so sniffy about a public park.
Having the kids over at OP's house would just be the beginning. Pretty soon, they'll want them to stay there for a weekend, then a week here or there when they're off school.
Parents essentially want to get their kids comfortable at OP's place. Then OP can easily be guilted into inviting them over with things like, oh, the kids have been asking when they can come over. They just love it there.
Choosy beggar called you selfish. NTA.
NTA. Your alternative suggestion of going to the park is a good one, unless the parks where you live are really unsafe for some weird reason?
I can understand not wanting 3 kids running around at a public park with only 1 adult to keep an eye on them all, but they don't get to dictate how you agree to help. They can ask, but demanding is a no-go.
Maybe suggest that one of their parents joins you for a test visit to the park, so they could see how you're able to keep a good eye on all 3?