Man won't pay child support due to 'low income'; ex finds out he's making $200k/yr.
"AITA for being mean to my ex about child support"
mama_canna
I got pregnant at 28 with my daughter and her dad ghosted me and ignored every call and text I ever sent. I made an honest effort to track him down so that he could know his daughter and for her to know her father. I even contacted his relatives and was also ignored. I finally gave up after about 3 years because I was a single parent and just needed to move on.
Fast forward to her being 5 years old and starting to ask questions on why everyone else has a dad but not her. It was hard for me to answer because I didn’t want to stain her mind just incase he starts coming around. I feel father daughter relationships are important and my opinion of him was not hers. I told her he’s working far away and I had lost contact with him.
I met my now husband who has 2 boys shortly after she turned 5. We are happy and things are great. The 5 year struggles my daughter and I had are finally behind us. A year later I was working at a dealership and guess who walks in? Yup her deadbeat dad. But not just him.
He was with a woman and a little girl and a baby in tow. I didn’t want to make a scene at my work so I made sure he didn’t see me, but when he left I went to the sales associate they we’re talking to. I explained the situation and he was more then happy to pass along the number he gave them.
I wanted to talk to my husband to see if I should just let it go or try to pursue some child support. We both agreed that is it the right of the child to have that support and it would give her a better quality of life.
So, I sent him a message saying who I was and that it’s time he starts to contribute to our daughter and we could work something out together without going to court (lawyers are expensive). He agreed, but wanted a paternity test.
I understand that and agreed. I told him to set it up. He mentioned he doesn’t make a lot of money and wouldn’t be able to afford much. But a little is better then nothing.Then, I was ghosted. Again.
A couple years and some court hearings and finally he was paying child support. I didn’t go after back support because I realize he has another family. Mr. 'I don’t make much' has actually been earning $200,000 a year this entire time.
The judge ordered him to pay child support based on his yearly earnings and back support for the 2 years he wasted the courts time when he should have been paying. He wasn’t happy about that. But in my opinion, it’s his own mess.
Now, he’s never paid on time or in full and has an excuse every time. I’ve had enough and gave him a piece of my mind and I didn’t hold back. He says I’m an a**hole because I don’t know or care about his situation. It’s very easy for someone to make me feel guilty so now I’m wondering AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Ornery-Wasabi-473
NTA. I wouldn't bother calling him again. Instead, notify the authorities when he doesn't pay on time. They'll garnish his wages so that you never have to worry about payments being late again.
The OP responded here:
mama_canna
Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way where I live. I would have to file papers, serve him and go back in front of a judge.
Ornery-Wasabi-473
Then do it. You shouldn't need an attorney to do that.
The OP again responded:
mama_canna
I will be. Amongst all of this I was diagnosed with brain cancer. Once I’m done with the last of my treatments I will be seeing him in court.
opinionatedasheck
Don't wait for the last of your treatments. I get that you need to be focused on your health right now, but do this NOW for the sake of your daughter.
God forbid something should go wrong, get her set up with the payments for her support coming in regularly. Have a judge know your condition, it may have an effect on how the judge treats your child's father for jerking you around.
And above all, best of wishes on your cancer journey. You beat that disease! From one survivor to another. You've got this!