Struggling single dad cries when son shares why he has been saving up his money.
Finding out what my eight year old son was saving for
When I was a sixteen year old, I was stupid, I didnt wear protection and I got a girl pregnant. I was shocked, I never expected having a kid that early and I don’t know if I regret it or not. All of my regrets washed away when my son was born.
For privacy purposes we will call him Rory. I am 24 now and my son is seven almost eight now. He is the smartest and most loving kid I could ever ask for. His mom had left when he was around two and the judge would not award me child support quoting that I was the father and needed to step up. Ever since then it has been me and Rory against the world.
I was a single dad to Rory from then on. I had a few girlfriends but nothing serious. I left my parents place and got a small apartment. I dropped out of high school which I still immensely regret, but hey, life happens.
During this time, my neighbors, (God bless them) helped me raise my son. They were an older couple next-door who’s kids had moved out long before, so they were fine babysitting him after school, late shifts etc.
I am a manager at McDonalds. I make lousy money but it was enough to get by, then two years prior our sh*tty building manager raised the rent for everyone and I had to work even harder for a place to live during a pandemic. My parents had left the state and I wasn’t ready to uproot my kid's entire life because his dad couldn’t provide for him.
Every birthday, since before he was three I believe, I took Rory to Golden Corral, usually on his birthday but there were more occasions we went. It was really good for him and he really enjoyed it. I haven’t been able to take him for the past two years due to money being very tight. (This is important for later)
Sometimes I will get tipped at McDonalds, a quarter here, a dime here, a dollar here and there. I'll bring it home him every day and give it to Rory to save.
Well two days ago, Rory brings me his money jug (he had been saving it all in a Cotton candy container from a Christmas ago 😂) and dumps it all out in-front of me. He was so excited and began counting it out. There was around forty dollars there and he jumped up excitedly. I had asked him what’s up little buddy.
When I tell you guys my heart broke, my son asked me if it was enough to go to the Corral for his birthday. A piece of me shattered inside, I didn’t think he remembered the Golden Corral. I told him we could go to the bank tomorrow and exchange it for cash.
That night I ugly cried in my bedroom. I felt like a failure because I couldnt give him everything he’s ever wanted. I’ve began researching furthering my education.
Well, yesterday as soon as the bank opened, I took my son and we exchanged the money for cash. I then drove us to Golden Corral and we were there for two hours. My kid was so happy, and I was stupid because I just assumed he forgot this place. (We get the all you can eat buffet for 2 for 30$)
Today I cried again in my room. I’ve never been good at saving money, but his birthday is next month and I'm gonna do my best to take him every few months.
So other parents of reddit, Can I ask some advice of how you deal with the guilt of having to say no? (Again this is a happy tifu)
Reddit blew up after this post.
Oh my god, my heart. Your son has already learned a really valuable lesson about saving for the things that he wants. If you can think of a way to tell him, while you have it under control (be sure to stress that he doesn’t have to worry on your behalf), that the world has made money tight for you guys.
You can absolutely turn this into a lesson and character building for your son; the best skill to learn before you become an adult is money management.
Your heart should also be warmed and you should be proud of the fact that the thing he saved for was to re-live a cherished memory that you created with him. He didn't want the latest toy he saw on TV, he didn't want disney world, he just wanted a meal with his dad. To you it's so little but to him it, and you, are the world. You're a great dad.
Hey there, your heart shouldn't break because you couldn't afford Golden Corral. Your heart should burst with pride that you taught your kid how to save for something important, how to value pennies as well as dollars, and that things worth doing are the things that involve making more memories with someone who loves him.
My daughter's first Christmas, she got wipes and diapers wrapped up in newspaper. Now we have enough for everything all the kids need plus some of the things they want. Often I still have to say no. It's part of life, learning to live within your means.
Days will come when things won't be as tight. Looks to me like you're doing a great job and that you are wealthy beyond belief in every way that really matters.
And I forgot to answer your question. I don't feel guilty saying no. Even if I had all the money in the world, giving kids everything they want is a pretty bad idea.
I make the things I can say yes to, be things that are meaningful and within the budget. That first Christmas was hard but I was glad to have my first daughter with a clean butt rather than more toys she couldn't even appreciate!
No, you're not trying. You're succeeding. Congratulations, my brother, you're a far better father than you realize. When you question continuously whether you're a good parent is the only way you can be a good parent.
2 suggestions... Try again with the courts for child support, a lot has changed in 6 years. She's every bit the deadbeat that so many women condemn in dads.
2nd, look into a trade such as HVAC or plumbing. I've been in a trade for 20 years and I'm soon to get into a union with nearly half again as much pay as I make now (which is fairly substantial as is). Find a company that can take you on as a helper or an apprentice, and don't bother with trade school unless it is absolutely necessary.
I also had very young parents and grew up very poor. No Christmas gifts, no vacations, no candy, no activities that would cost any money. But I was proud of my parents. Because I realized already at a very young age that my parents where young, and that we did things differently compared to other families. It made me feel cool.
I had a very happy childhood. I know my parents worked their ass of just to put food on the table. I’m a 37 yo parent myself now and I feel guilty a lot of times. Kids are so sincere and honest. I think every (good) parent has these feelings of not wanting them to let down. You’re doing a great job OP.
Two days later, the dad returned with a heartwarming update:
I just wanna thank everyone for the massive support, I didn’t know it also went viral on Facebook and tiktok and I was shocked. It’s been around two days since my initial post and I’ve done a few things :D. (This will likely be the last post to this account)
Regarding everyones advice, I thank you for telling me that it’s okay to say no. I never want to say no to my boy and It’s been difficult to do that but I understand he needs that in order to be a good kid.
For everyone commenting on how young I am/was when I had my kid and why I did or didn’t push for an abortion or adoption. I was a terrified sixteen year old, but I seen the look on my babies face when he first looked at me and I knew I was a parent.
To give more context, my ex, my child, and I lived with my parents until my ex left when my child was two. Ergo court, parents moving etc. It was difficult but it helped me grow up quickly.
I also want to speak about a comment that really touched my heart. There was this comment telling me how I am so mature when I am only a child myself. I still see myself as a kid sometimes haha. I love spongebob like my son. I am still scared of some childish things (WILL NEVER TELL) and I am still very young. Responsibly aged me quick as it does a lot of young parents.
I do wanna have more kids someday, just not now, I wouldn’t push that much struggle on my son. I couldn’t handle another child at this point. However, I would love to find a girlfriend and settle down, I've had a few flings but most were turned off by the fact I had a kid. I don’t blame them, It’s understandable. Maybe after I get my degree I'll be more serious. AND OH YEAH.
I’ve began applying for online colleges, and if I’m accepted into one I plan to get my bachelors degree in business for it’s what’s required for a regional manager for Mcdonalds. I also think this is where some people got confused, I got a G.E.D through the McDonald’s education program.
I’ve had so much help with my kid, and I am so thankful for everyone who helped me get to where I am now. To my parents and my co-workers, to my neighbors and to my boy who molded me into the man I am now.
I’ve also began looking at other apartments for me and my kid, Before the rent raised we were actually living decently. It will definitely help out on easing my financial problems.
I know I got hundreds of messages and comments telling me to go after the judge and my ex, but I seriously don’t need that stress and toxicity in my life again. I wish the best for my kids mom, I don’t agree with her choice to abandon us, but I understand it. She was just as dumb as I was at sixteen, she was just a kid too. So as much as I would love to hate her, I can’t.
This will be my last update, sorry for information being everywhere. I will try to respond to everyone who comments. But thank you all for such an amazing experience on this subreddit. I thank the mods too because I edited my last post too many times and it got locked LOL and they had to manually unlock it! So thanks guys!!!
Also I told Rory about the reddit post and how famous he is now and he’s rather happy as an eight year can be haha.
People who had been following this story from the beginning had this to say:
Even the stuff you said about your ex shows such positive qualities from you, being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes even after they wronged you is something i strive to be better at. Keep doing you bro.
You're doing superb. Keep on learning and being an awesome Dad to your son. You're a great role model to him I'm sure with your work eithic, and now showing him how studying will pay off later in life. Good luck!
My dad bailed before I was born and it was just me and my mum, and she sacrificed so much to make sure I had a good life. I remember it even though she tried to make sure I didn't see it, and your son's going to remember it too.
I'm now saving to send my mum on a trip to Australia for her next big birthday in a few years (not saying which big birthday because she'd murder me lol) because it's something she's always wanted to do but could never afford. You're doing a great job.
I hope one day I’ll hear a story about the CEO of McDonald’s that started at 16 as a single father and worked his way up the corporate ladder. Thanks for sharing your story with us and I hope you continue to share more stories with us. I’ll be following this account in case you do.
Well, OOP seems to be doing a good job as a parent to me. His kid sounds like the biggest sweet heart ever! Wishing them the best for the future!
This is the happiest Golden Corral has made anyone in years.