Stepdaughter upset she can't meet baby sister because she won't stop getting lice.
"AITA for not letting my step daughter near my new baby?"
Tall_Client1151
I gave birth to my daughter 8 days ago. I have 3 step kids. There's James, 12m. Amanda, 11f. Chris, 7m. All of them are great kids and I have been in their lives for 6.5 years now. We have them every weekend and rotating holidays (as well as a few extra weeks during summer break).
The issues are the fact that they all just started school and obviously with that comes shit storms. Like Amanda refuses to stop sharing hats and headbands with her classmates (as in comes home with new head wear damn near daily because her and her friends "switched" for the day) and has gotten a bad case of head lice.
This has ALWAYS been an issue with Amanda. Every single year she gets head lice because of this issue and she refuses to stop sharing her hats so the cycle continues. This is at no fault of her mother or the school. She's been told several times that this is unacceptable and we are tired of buying lice treatments, just for her to get lice again because of this.
It goes in one ear and out the other. So right now, she is LOADED. Her mom has done 2 treatments alone since school started and Amanda's hair is just as bad as when it started because she just refuses to stop taking and wearing her best friend's hats (who always has head lice).
So, I have started refusing to let her near the new baby. I don't want the baby getting head lice and she has a lot of hair already. This is "mentally destroying" her (her words) but she still refuses to stop sharing head gear so I will continue this until her head lice is under control and until she sees the importance in what we tell her to begin with.
As for Chris and James, they hold the baby often and it really messes with my step daughters head because she isn't allowed to touch the baby at all. I feel utterly f*cking terrible about it because I love my step babies and I want my step daughter to be able to hold and love on her sister but I don't feel comfortable given that she won't stop sharing and spreading head lice wear.
AITA? My husband is definitely getting p*#$ed at me and has all but given me the cold shoulder but he hasn't said anything thus far. Her bio mom is on my side and thinks maybe it will "teach her" that she can't do this anymore.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Electronic_Fox_6383
Omg, no, the girl with lice cannot hold the baby. Why is she at your home at all right now? NTA for the question you asked, but the lice thing needs to be sorted asap. New friend, new school, haircut, whatever it takes. This is ridiculous.
The OP responded here:
Tall_Client1151
Her mom has been tiptoeing around shaving her head honestly. My husband is the only one not on board with that.
yeah_right_4685
Tell your husband it's his turn to do a treatment or two. He'll change his tune pretty quickly.
MNConcerto
NTA, my niece kept getting head lice and bringing it to my house. So after the second time I would inspect her head before her mom left and send her back home if she had head lice. My SIL was so insulted by my actions. I said if you would take care of the problem we wouldn't be here standing outside with me inspecting your child's head now would we?
She took care of it by finally properly cleaning her house and linens and keeping her daughter away from the neighbor's who always had head lice.
AstronautNo920
NTA if your husband is the only one not on board with chopping our hair off to help control the situation when there are other children that are affected. Then he should be the only one treating it and picking the nits out. When he’s the only one having to deal with it and pick the hair and the child screaming because it hurts, he’ll be ready to cut it off.
Rainbow-Mama
NTA. Stop letting your daughter have hats. Get the mom to stop it too and maybe contact the mom if the other kid.
Unhappysong-6653
Nta The other kid with head lice is neglected in my opinion.
The OP responded here:
Tall_Client1151
Unfortunately I believe the same thing. She is a foster kid and you would think the foster parents would be on top of it but they aren't.
roxywalker
If this is a real situation the problem has more to do with her incurring consequences that go way beyond just not holding a new baby. Lice can be passed all over a household. Why would she still be allowed to continue to be friends with someone who has a case of head lice so bad she gives it to her every school year?
Makes no sense. So no, you are not TA. I’d seriously even consider if she should be allowed in your home because clearly she doesn’t seem to care that she’s putting everyone at risk by her lack of common sense.
The OP responded again:
Tall_Client1151
We actually have asked the school to minimize her interactions with the friend in question but there's only so much they can do, given that they have recess together.