Woman tells cousin she isn't mature enough to have a baby, cousin says, 'you're just jealous.' AITA?
"AITAH for telling my cousin she should not have a baby"
Queasy-Ad3398
My aunt recently gave birth in April. This is the first baby in the family in 18 years. We were all excited and beyond happy. We spoiled the baby with a bunch of baby clothes etc. Heck even I have clothes, a crib and toys in my home for when I take care of the baby.
The day after the baby was born my cousin f(22) went to go visit the baby and made a comment to her boyfriend of a few months that she wanted to get pregnant. (My mom heard this).
Anyway, one month after the the baby was born, my cousin got pregnant. She has no career. She has no money. She can’t even afford an apartment alone. Heck, she can’t even take care of her own dog!
She has anger issues. I have let her borrow hundreds of dollars in the past couple of years. Last year, when her ex left, I paid her rent for a month and didn’t ask for the money back. I let her stay in MY home. Rent free. She didn’t pay for the food. She didn’t pay for her DOG'S FOOD. I fed her dog and walked her dog. I paid for everything.
I told her that she shouldn’t have a baby she can’t afford. Especially because she got pregnant after meeting the baby only once because she couldn’t control her baby fever.
She doesn’t know what she is getting herself into. And if she can’t take care of her dog, what makes her think she will take care of the baby. Her boyfriend doesn’t work a lot either for your iformation.
She told me to stop being a b*tch and to stop being jealous. Oh, and never once did she thank me for letting her borrow money, paying her rent and living in my home rent free. I provided everything for her. I even offered to help pay for her to go back to school.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Particular-Try5584
Move her out. Tell her you don’t have room for hte baby. Ask her to move in with that wonderful boyfriend of hers and family it up. If that won’t work then tell her to move back in with her parents (won’t it be great to have the babies grow up together!).
Ugh. Right now you are letting her completely walk all over you. If you can’t face her and kick her out…. Let your lease lapse and have to move somewhere she can’t live with you. Or you’ll be paying for her kid’s diapers and formula and all the way through college. Don’t be a doormat.
PercentageMaximum457
You need to take a step back from this relationship. Don't give her anything, neither cash nor admonishment. If you truly think the child will suffer, think about preparing to adopt the child should the situation arise.
lianavan
You've enabled her for far too long. She's already pregnant now. What was your point?
The OP responded here in the comments:
Queasy-Ad3398
She’s living in my home rent free. I don’t think she has plans to leave anytime soon. I have never asked for anything in return, but I guess she might be trying to have me handle everything for her baby.
I talked to her when she first found out. Nothing to do now and I completely agree with you on this. But when we go grocery shopping she will get pregnancy items and what not and expect me to take care of it.
I don’t really know how to handle this situation because she has no where else to go. She is working full time, so I don’t know where her money goes.
aggirloftoday
Why are you enabling her? Start the eviction process now before you have another mouth to feed and house! You are only a few months away from an infant crying 24/7 in your home, you need to act quickly and swiftly.
Stop trying to talk sense into someone who isn’t going to get it. You are not going to change her mind. especially when she’s had a free home to live in complete rent free with spending money given to her on top of that? Why would she listen to you?
You haven’t proven to stand up for yourself, so she is walking ALL OVER YOU! Because she clearly knows she CAN and you will keep letting her live there and keep helping her. She only has to ignore your words, and gets to enjoy your generous actions… seems quite easy for her don’t you think?
Like the saying goes, actions speak louder than words and your actions are enabling her so she has no reason to believe your words. You are setting yourself up for financial distress and an even worse living situation. You need to stop being a doormat, save yourself and get her out of your home ASAP.
Electronic_Fox_6383
Sounds like your whole family has enabled her to this point. If you had something to say about her not having a baby, the time to do that was before she got pregnant, not after. YTA