There are few experiences more specifically painful and frustrating than watching your friend fall for a person you know isn't it. Even worse yet - if they fall for someone you've been with, and know firsthand to be unsavory.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for saying "I told you so" after her friend got engaged to her ex and complained about him. She wrote:
AITA. I (25f) met Dave (26m) in college. We dated, everything was great. We got engaged and moved in together. Within 10 months I realized he had an issue with laziness, and some other stuff. Sue (25f) has been my friend for YEARS and was supposed to be my maid of honour. She was upset about the breakup but one day called and said Dave asked her out.
This was a few months after the breakup. I'm not a gatekeeper. I just said, "Sue...he is not a good guy. You're like a sister to me and I wouldn't want my sister involved in the same situation I just got out of." I added some situations. I said "hey I'm not perfect either but the relationship was far from balanced and was so toxic. The ring or apartment didn't help."
She's a grown-a*s woman and I told her to do what she wanted but seriously. She said she understood. Next week they started dating. I just removed myself. I had blocked my ex and saw he sent me a message on socials but blocked and deleted all of it. Now, a year and a half later.
Sidenote: I caught my ex trying to mess with my birth control once, which made my sex drive/trust just fall and was a big domino in our breakup. He wants kids yet cant bring himself to shower more than 1 in 3 days. She called me crying. They are now engaged (with the ring I gave back to him) and she is pregnant. She's at the end of her line. He doesn't help with the house and pays little on bills.
He told her (his pregnant gf) to go donate blood if she was so worried about money. I let her cry for an hour. How he is lazy and refuses to work, his negative attitude, and how he's sexting bots online but how it isn't cheating since its AI. How lazy and sh#$ty he is. She even retold stories that I told her of what he did to me!!! I felt numb to listen to it and just thanked god it wasn't me.
THIS was what I was afraid of. This is why I left him. At the end, I just mustered, "Sue...I told you this would happen when you started dating..." Not like a sneery jab, just an emotional, honest one. She hung up. She hasn't tried to contact me since. AITA for trying to tell my bff how my ex was when they started dating and being unsympathetic now that the same things I told her are coming true?!?!?
Affectionate-Style83 wrote:
NTA first off as your friend it was weird of her to go date him after you. And secondly you broke up with him for a reason and you warned her. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make ‘em drink and now the horse is pregnant.
And OP responded:
I feel awful for her. We lived together for a year. The whole time he skipped work and went through a few different jobs. Hed play loud video games until 4am. He'd eat in bed so that there were crumbs in the sheets, and was over all just such a hassle. I hate to say that about a person. I dont love him but wish he'd...just be better. For Sue and the baby.
Booklvr423 wrote:
She walked into that situation with open eyes and arms. I would have ZERO sympathy for a “friend” who knowingly put herself in that situation. NTA.
clearheaded01 wrote:
NTA. You warned her, so. Msg her - no apology, but tell her if she wants help to get away from your ex, to call you. And accept that you did what you could.
JustAsICanBeSoCruel wrote:
NTA, but honestly it's for the best she's icing you out. This wasn't a guy who you 'just grew apart from' but was fantastic and you would set up with a cousin or something. This was a guy who you broke up with for legit reasons, which you told her about, which she was present for. But she still went diving in your dumpster and is shocked that, yup, he's for the trash. IDK why you even want to keep her around. She's gross.
OP is NTA here, her friend got what she signed up for.