'AITA for taking my fiancè's dinner after he touched mine?'

"AITA for taking my fiancè's dinner after he touched mine?"

I'll be quick, my F 26 fiance M 32 is blind. We don't disagree a lot except, he always gets bothered whenever I eat different food from what he's eating when we go out. Like, if we're having dinner out and I order else, he'd instantly get upset and accuse me of treating him as less than when I just have different taste in foods.

I'd just eat what he eats to keep the peace (I eat out alone as alternative) but since he clearly doesn't trust me, he'd randomly touch my plate to see if I'm having the same dish. This caused huge arguments between us and I told him to stop doing it and he said he would. We went out to eat nights ago, and I ordered the same dish he ordered. When the food arrived, he looked somewhat uncomfortable.

I asked what was wrong and he refused to say, and before I could even grab the fork he extended his arm and his hand touched the food on my plate. He moved quickly and started excusing what he did saying he 'just wanted to make sure...' but I lost it on him, I felt so grossed out and there was no way I could eat the food after he touched it.

He tried to get me to drop it saying I shouldn't be grossed out by his hand, and that I overreacted etc... but I grabbed his plate and told him that I was taking it as my dinner. He at first asked me to be 'rational' and give the plate back but I refused. An argument ensued and we had a fight.

He then ended up leaving started spam-texting me accusing me of being bitter, pathetic, and childish, and robbing his dinner. He went to stay with his friend who picked him up and his friend sided with him saying I was in the wrong. Even went as far as to say that I was ab*sing my fiance and financially controlling him when I pointed out that I was the one who paid for the food.

The problem is magnified now with him wanting an apology and me refusing to give him one. My parents think I should have more patience and that this is just typical 'love spats' between us but I'm not sure. Was I the ah with how I handled this?

EDIT I want to point out that this is not the case when we ate at home, he has no issue with me eating different food. But in public it's a different story.

People had a lot to say about the dynamic.

Curious_Puffin wrote:

NTA. List of red flags:

Him insisting you eat the same food as him

Him feeling he has the right to check to make sure

Him putting his hands on your food

Him continuing to touch your food after saying he would stop

There is something going on there, and you shouldn't ignore it.

Krunkks wrote:

NTA but your fiancé is being unreasonably controlling. The fact that he wouldn't eat the plate that he touched shows he knows its a disgusting thing to do.

Then he gets pissy and goes pouting at his friends house? For what?

All this drama because of his uneasonable hangup about you eating different food than him.

DO. NOT. MARRY. THIS. MAN.

He WILL use his disability at every turn to make you the bad guy, seeing how controlling he is now, it probably will get 10 times worse when you're married.

The fact that you're even questioning yourself in this instance shows that he's spent a significant amount of time convincing you that him having control over you is normal and how it should be.

tomatofrogfan wrote:

NTA. I’m sure this isn’t the only way he tries to exercise control over you. Why do you put up with this? Do you realize how incredibly disrespectful (forget bizarre, controlling, unsanitary, selfish, etc) it is for him to touch your food to ensure you’re eating the same food as him? I can’t believe you allow that.

To give you some perspective, this is a perfect example of the escalation of controlling behaviors. He started groping your food because you allowed him to control and dictate what you eat. If you had out your foot down to begin with and refused to comply with his ridiculous demand that you eat the exact same thing as him, it wouldn’t have gotten to the point of him sticking his hands in your food.

So what’s next? How else is going to try to control you? It’s only going to go further downhill from here. Oh wait, it already did because he’s manipulating you by telling other people you’re abusive and controlling for not letting him control what you eat. Please leave this @$$hole before things get infinitely worse.

ShadyGreenForest wrote:

He won’t let you order something different from what he orders?

Girl….are you really so desperate? Is the bar REALLY this low?

Being single is better than this.

Please leave this manipulative weirdo

It’s only gonna get worse.