'AITA for refusing to forgo all fun to pay off my debts? My GF is threatening to break up.'

"AITA for refusing to forgo all fun to pay off my debts?"

u/skxuuim writes:

My gf(28F) and I(29M) are a bit like oil and water financially. We’ve been dating for nearly 2 years and she refuses to do any kind of joint account even though we live together and just venmo each the money we need for rent and other stuff.

She is very high and mighty about finances and gives me advice all the time about how to improve mine. Now I’m not good with finances I’ll admit, I’m in credit card debt and have a guilty pleasure of a second hand bmw.

And she does have her shit together, her student loans are paid off, she bought a house I just moved into and she has savings but she’s expecting everyone to live like her and I’m ok not having as much savings. I’m actually ok living on the edge a bit but I know it bothers her a lot.

She is very obnoxious with critiquing me for my car and how expensive the payments are. I don’t care haha I love my car and it’s fine it’s a bit expensive. She also points out all the money I’m now saving because she cooks and so why don’t I pay off my credit cards?

I’m paying them off $500 a month at a time. But she nags me every time I go out that, hey there’s $60 you spent that could be going towards credit card payments! Or there’s a video game purchase when you have tons already so why don’t use return it and pay off the credit card?

She recently told me she doesn’t want to go any further with our relationship until I paid off my student loans, credit card and car. I was shocked because that could take years. She said she thinks it will take 2 years and started showing me calculations she’s made showing that if I stopped spending on anything enjoyable about life I could pay it off.

I told her she’ll just have to take me with my debt or not at all because it’s ridiculous how perfect she expects me to be and I don’t mind the debt so she shouldn’t either.

She got mad and said I’m ok with constantly being in credit card debt shows I’m not serious about being an adult and she doesn’t want to marry someone who brings her down and needs helping. I was shocked because she never helped me apart from giving me slightly lower than normal rent when I moved in.

Well, a lower rent sounds like help but let's see what Reddit had to say:

Sunny_Hill_1 writes:

YTA (you're the a-hole). Dude, you do realize that if she marries you, your debt is her debt? She is right, the two of you are not compatible in terms of finances and it's better to break it off now rather than drag it on.

Other_Personalities says:

YTA. Congratulations on losing someone with their shit together who was willing to help you better yourself. Have fun being a broke joke.

WaywardPrincess1025 writes:

I mean, for a judgment NTA (not the a-hole). But your GF is right. She has her finances together and you’re financially irresponsible. Marrying you is a financial liability. She’s smart to have laid it all out for you.

Money is one of the most common reasons for divorce. She sees your flaws and isn’t willing to committed to you unless she sees a change. However, it’s your life and if you want to be irresponsible then so be it. But guaranteed she’ll break up with you.

Sounds like OP is about to get the boot unless he shows a little effort.

Reddit thinks he's lucky to have someone who's willing to be patient with him so he needs to either show some effort or make like a tree!