Disabled student yells at classmate who claims her 'disability' is worse. UPDATE
All children deserve a safe and healthy environment in which to learn.
We have to be aware of different people's mental disorders and physical disabilities. One boy was tired of his classmate comparing their disabilities and he felt she was taking advantage of her less serious issues. We'll let him speak for himself.
AITA for yelling at a disabled girl and making her cry?
i (M16) am disabled myself. i use forearm crutches due to ME/CFS and occasionally a wheelchair when it gets bad and an injury i had as a kid that never healed right. im also neurodivergent (autism).
This girl i go to school with (F17) is the most obnoxious girl i have ever met. she likes to compare our disabilities and say hers are worse without ever actually disclosing what she has.
I physically cant walk without supports, she can walk just fine. she will interrupt class to talk to the teacher about personal issues. everyone ive talked to about her has disliked her as well.
She is fully capable of using a backpack but she instead uses this box. a rolling box that gets in everyone's way and is always a mess. last time i saw it, it had trash from a field trip we went on a month ago.
it always gets in the way and gets upset when i need the accessible class seats cause i physically cannot walk. she complains about her box all the time.
i will also use noise canceling headphones when sounds are too overwhelming and she'll come to me and say sh*t like 'its not fair you can use them when the school says headphones aren't allowed in class.' shes reported me to security for wearing my favorite ninja turtles hoodie to school cause it has weapons on it.
One day i sat in the accessible seat in my chemistry class. its low to the ground with shorter seats to accommodate wheelchairs and a clamp on the side to hold crutches/canes in place.
i sat down and as soon as this girl came in she started getting all mad at me. she said 'one day im gonna get here before you to get that seat. i need the extra space for my box.' ive been dealing with her for 5 years at this school and i finally had it with her sh*t.
i looked at her and started yelling 'oh my f*cking god dude. you do not need that goddamn box. you are not special. shut up please i hate you stop acting like were friends we are not. i hate you so much leave me alone. you annoy me so much. i need this more than you i cant walk dude.'
I had tears dripping down my face from how angry i was. she started crying and left the room taking the BACKPACK she kept in that goddamn box. My friend walked me out of the room and took me on a walk around the school to calm down a bit.
i feel really bad about what i did but i don't know if im the a**hole or if i went about it the right way. Am i the a**hole?
Five days later, the OP returned with some key information:
Update (Same Post): April 6, 2023 (5 days later)
UPDATE: we had a meeting with the IEP (Editor's note: IEP is individualized education program) staff and we were discussing our disabilities and after we got done talking about the altercation we were talking about each of our iep plans and she had no physical disabilities or any physical accommodations.
All she had was ADHD and accommodations for that such as being allowed to use a fidget, headphones and having to take breaks. her parents said they were disappointed that she would lie about something like that and cause a scene in class and her schedules going to be switched around to not interfere with mine.
that's pretty much all that happened. she obviously is upset with me. she wont look my way which i really do not mind at all.
Here are the top comments from readers:
NTA. She’s being incredibly selfish.
NTA— ok, she has problems, but this is a teacher/administrator problem. You shouldn’t have to fight everyone who feels entitled to the accessible everything— that’s why parking permits and IEPs exist.
It’s not your job to evaluate how much she needs that box— it should be on her IEP if she needs it and then the teacher has to make sure she gets it. And your accessible desk should be on your IEP and your teacher needs to make sure you get it.
So “sorry but it’s on my IEP, you’ll need to show the teacher your IEP to get the furniture you need” is the best response, but I understand that when you’re left to sort this yourself why you weren’t so polite.
Yeah everyone saying E S H probably wouldn't have if genders were not included. Seriously, why would OP be the AH? Everyone has the right to snap after dealing with someone so insufferable.
I feel like some people fetishize disability whilst also self identifying with it, all to make them feel special. It's freaking aggravating to see.
I’m glad her parents didn’t condone her behavior and made it clear what her actual restrictions were. I hope it was out respect for op and remorse for her actions, and not fear of being sued.
I still don’t understand the box...