'AITA for saying no to my boyfriend’s proposal after he got me a cheap ring?'
"AITA for saying no to my boyfriend’s proposal after he got me a cheap ring?"
My boyfriend and I both make over $100K. I make more than him. He proposed with a ring that looked and felt cheap. He got a $500 ring off of Etsy. I said no to his proposal.
He said it shouldn’t be about the ring but about the love we have for each other. I told him he clearly doesn’t love me enough if he cheaped out on a ring while buying himself a high end Tesla. I bought him a $2K watch for his birthday that he wanted and dreamed of because I know he values that. But a ring I was going to wear for the rest of my life was worth less than a dinner at his favorite restaurant.
If I’m going to marry someone, I want them to be generous with others. If my children wanted to be in extracurriculars, I want a man who would not bat an eyelash if they needed new equipment. I would want a man who spends time with his children and would give them the best part of the meat or the last snack. I would want a man who thinks of others before himself.
I don’t feel like ruining my body and the rest of my earnings potential for man who has demonstrated that he will not care about small things. I broke up with him. He called me a gold digger. If I was, I’d get an older, wealthier man to pay my bills while I stay home. AITA?
I would have been happy with a $500 ring if it were a different man. If he was poor and that was what he could afford and he thought about the ring, I would’ve been happy.
But my ex boyfriend had expensive taste. He was willing to spend money on things he wanted and was happy to take my expensive gifts. But when the shoe is on the other foot, he demonstrated he didn’t have the same care to me. He could easily afford something better.
He wanted me to be a SAHM. Like I said, I’m not ruining my body and wasting my earnings potential for a man who is tight-fisted with other people and yet spends money on himself
Here's what people had to say to OP:
asianingermany says:
NTA. My BIL is like this too, he is really tight-fisted with money when it comes to my sister... and guess what? He continues the trend with his own children. Last I visited them, my nephew wore his only pair of sandals that are 2 sizes too small and my niece had shoes with holes on. The saddest part is that they're so used to it. All the while my BIL buys himself new gadgets regularly.
Aggressive_Sir_20 OP responded:
That is exactly what I do not want for my future children. I want a man who is generous in big and small ways. If our daughter was studying for an exam, would he slice up fruit and bring it to her? If our son needed rides to and from school, would my husband volunteer?
My parents sacrificed for a better life for me and I have sacrificed for a better life for my younger siblings. I want my children to have a better life. I can see my ex boyfriend being like your BIL and I would not wish it for my family.
waaaghboyz says:
“If he was poor” lol. If he was poor you wouldn’t know he exists. Gtfo with this disingenuous garbage. You both come off as soulless ghouls
Aggressive_Sir_20 OP responded:
My first fiancé was poor. And yet he was generous. I was happy be with him. He died before we could get married.
Stunning-Cry-5165 says:
Other than this, is he generally a generous guy? Do you live together? Who pays the bills?
Aggressive_Sir_20 OP responded:
No. He lives in my apartment. He pays 40% of the rent and I pay 60%.
ReferenceSeparate says:
NTA. He clearly doesn’t value you and didn’t want to spend the money and time picking up a ring you would like and that has value, which is important to you.
Don’t mind the other commenters here calling you superficial, you clearly stated that this is deeper than just the ring; you felt that this has shown you that he is not willing to use his money on you and potentially future kids, because he proved that he is cheap.