Man tells wife it was 'disrespectful' to leave sanitary pad in brother's bathroom.

"AITA for telling my wife that leaving her used pad in my brother's place was inappropriate?​​​​"

My wife and I were invited to my brother's 31st birthday. He's single and lives alone in his apartment. So to give you the heads-up, my wife and him don't get along so well. But can be civil enough to sit at the same table.

So, we went and had dinner and talked and everything was going well, no argument, nothing til after my wife went to use the bathroom. Later my brother went to use the bathroom then came back looking pissed.

He kept giving me and my wife looks but I didn't know what was going on til he pulled me aside before we left and told me that my wife had left her used pad in his bathroom. I was shocked and didn't know what to say because this felt highly inappropriate.

He said he didn't appreciate what my wife did and that it was a sign of disrespect towards him. I apologized profoundly and said I didn't know about it. He asked me to speak to her or she wouldn't be welcome in his place anymore.

We got in the car and I asked my wife about it, and she nonchalantly said there was nothing wrong with what she did, and that my brother was being ridiculous. I kind of flipped and told her it was very inappropriate for her to leave her used pad in his place even if it was in the bathroom, and in the trashcan because it made him uncomfortable.

She yelled asking what she was supposed to do, and I told her she could've took it with her and threw it outside not in his bathroom -- that's my brother's place and he told me how he felt about it.

She yelled at me calling me an asshole for 'getting in her face about it'. She said she needed to use the bathroom and it's not like the pad was visible since she dumped it in the trashcan.

At home we still argued about it and she kept on calling me and my brother names. She's currently not speaking to me and is avoiding me entirely. Regardless, I feel like it's his place and he gets to express what makes him uncomfortable in it.

Edit from OP:

I can't give info or expand on what was seen but I can tell you that the trash can does not have a lid. It's not like one of those trashcans that have a lid on top and you can push it. What I want to emphasize on is the fact that as guests we should respect people's homes and not argue about what makes them uncomfortable. He said it made him uncomfortable and that should, in my opinion, be acknowledged.

Comments:

soph_lurk_2018 says:

YTA are you ok? You really expected your wife to put a bloody pad in her purse and carry it all night until she could have disposed of it. On what planet do you think it is more sanitary to have a bloody pad in a purse next to her all night over in a trash can in a bathroom. Why was your brother digging in the trash can after your wife in the first place? Sounds very creepy.

LeWifey95 says:

Your brother is the AH and you are just plain ignorant. Pads go in the bin when u change them. She was supposed to put it in her purse? Educate yourself, apologize to your wife and tell your brother to get a boyfriend if pads are 'inappropriate' and disgusting.

Konjonashipirate says:

What? It was in the trash. Both you and your brother need to grow up. Women have periods. We have since the dawn of time. They're not shameful or a secret.

I feel sorry for your wife. Oh, and YTA.

NakedAndAfraidFan says:

Oh, quick question. Are quests allowed to poop in there? What about blowing their nose and leaving a big, snotty tissue in the trash can? Or is the only thing not allowed specific to women?

Everythingbutmyears says:

YTA. What the hell?! Are the boys in your family really that afraid of normal bodily functions in women? You didn’t put your or your brother’s age, but you’re married and he lives alone - both too old to be acting like scared jerks.