Teen confronts father who abandoned her; told to 'get over it' and 'be happy for him.'

When a sad and frustrated teenager saw the man who abandoned her at a family function, she decided to remind him of his past mistakes.

And for that, she was reprimanded. So, she came to Reddit to ask:

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for sarcastically congratulating my dad?'

No_Raspberry5601 writes:

So when I (f17) was 5, my dad left my mom and me. Since then I saw him maybe 3-4 times at family functions.

From my family, I found out he got married and had other kids. I figured he wouldn't have been a good dad just because of the type of dad he's been to me my whole life.

Yesterday was my great grandma’s 100th birthday, so we were doing a big party for her. A few days ago I found out from my grandma my dad is going to be there and more than likely with his kids. I was still going to go though because I've always been close to my great-grandma.

About an hour of me being at this party my dad, his wife, and their 2 kids walk in. The kids were about 3 and 6 years old. I watched them off and on through the party... My dad was actually being a dad, he was playing with his kids and listening to them, even had cute nicknames for them.

That's got to be tough to watch.

Then my dad came up to me and said pretty much “Uh... Hey (my name)... Um how have you... Been... It's..um been a while”.

I will admit, I was upset seeing my dad act like the person he never was to me and has never put in the effort.

So I said I'm okay. I then pointed over to his kids and said congrats on actually being a dad this time around.

Harsh! But is she wrong?

My dad got mad and said he's sorry but he can't change the past... But he never even puts up an effort now to call or text me or wants to come to visit me.

I then had other family members tell me I need to grow up and get over it and now be happy for my dad. So AITA?

Here's what Reddit had to say...

properpita comments:

You’re still a child now, sure you’re about to be 18 but even still, If the oldest is 6 you were 10-11 when he started being a father for his other children. He had every opportunity to realize his mistakes and attempt to make up for them or attempt a relationship if he wanted one. NTA (Not the a-hole) at all.

mostlyprobablyok agrees:

Abandoned by your father, scorned by your family, plus sarcastic quips; this is the making of a real superhero's origin. So take your wings, my child, and dump buckets of bird poop on your villainous father and his minions so that their outer appearance's may resemble the crap they are on the inside. NTA.

atealein piles on:

Your family members saying this are a-holes. You can never get over having your dad walk out of your life and not love you, not fight for you, not care for you. This is not on you, it is on him. And you DO NOT HAVE TO BE HAPPY FOR HIM. Yes, he cannot change the past, but has he tried to change anything in the present? No.

clunkyvoid asks:

What would you like him to do? He tried approaching you and you rebuffed him. Do you think he'll try to talk to you again? Do you want him to talk to you again?

And OP is more than happy to explain:

He's not going to change. I'll explain what happened last time I saw him (before yesterday)...

I was 12 years old, we had this big family gathering at the park, my mom thought it was a good idea. I went so I could see my cousins as well as other relatives. Well, my dad pulled me aside and told me about how sorry he was he hasn't been around for me

He told me about how him and his now wife (I only met her once when they were dating) had a baby girl together and that sometime soon he wants us to meet, and then just talked about how he wants to spend more time with me. He later talked to my mom and set up a day for him to spend the day with me...

That day I waited outside for 3 hours waiting for him to show up, but he never did.

He called a few hours later saying he lost track of time but he'll make it up to me. That happened a few more times until he went radio silent for the last 5 years.

My mom's number never changed and my mom gave him my number once I got my own phone, so he really had no excuses.

So he hasn't changed... you don't say after 5 years 'oh hey other kid I've completely had no contact with, it's been a while.' At this point I rather him not talk to me and not do that half-ass small talk to make himself feel better temporarily for being a horrible dad to me.

Trues_bulldog responds:

That's so awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You deserved better then and you do now, too. And also, good for you for saying something to him and standing up for yourself. I know in families like that it can be hard to resist the pressure to not rock the boat.

So, there you have it!

Looks like when you abandon your child MULTIPLE times, they're allowed to say whatever the hell they want to you. Good luck, OP!