Man upset brother married an ex he cheated on; brother defends himself. AITA?
This one is a real roller coaster, folks. Grab your popcorn and settle in.
"Am I wrong for accidently getting my parents uninvited from my brother's wedding?"
Back when my(25m) ex 'Maria'(24f) and I were dating we set my brother 'Arthur'(24m) up with his ex 'Jen'(24f) who was Maria's (I guess now ex) best friend. Maria and I dated for about a year, and Arthur and Jen dated for about 9 months. We'd constantly do things together since Maria and Jen were best friends.
Out of our little group, my personality matched Jen's the most, which led to us getting close. I felt so comfortable around Jen, and we both had a moment of weakness. We were at a party, and we did the deed.
We snuck around for about a week before Arthur and Maria found out. Jen and I decided we'd be better together, so we broke off our relationship and started dating each other.
Jen and I dated for about 6 months, and it was amazing until I found out she was cheating on me and she left me for the other guy. I was heartbroken. I thought I found my match.
I kept thinking about how good Maria was to me. In hindsight, she treated me way better than Jen ever did. I went to message her to beg her to take me back but decided to look at her Instagram pictures first and that's when I found out that her and Arthur had started dating in the 6 months Jen and I were together.
They've been together for 4 years, and I found out from my parents that they're getting married in September. It hurt so much finding that out. What hurt even more was the fact that I didn't receive an invite.
I mean, I know things have happened between us, but Arthur and I are brothers. We're family. When I told my parents I hadn't received an invite, they phoned Arthur and tried to get him to invite me, but all that ended up doing is getting them uninvited.
I tried calling Arthur to get them re-invited and to get myself invited but he didn't answer any of my calls. My parents haven't said anything, but I feel like they're mad at me for getting them uninvited from Arthur's wedding. Am I wrong for accidently getting my parents uninvited from my brother's wedding?
Here were the top rated comments after the first brother's post:
Dear god you expected the person you cheated on to take your cheating ass back and you're shocked, shocked to discover your brother doesn't want your cheating ass at his wedding. Go figure.
Can you imagine? lmao I love that his mom and dad tried to plead his case and got uninvited too.
Wait, you had s3x with your brothers girlfriend and then started dating her? And now you dont know why he doesn't want you at his wedding? Am I reading that right?
Edit: Yeah, OP, you're wrong as f*ck. You ran off with your brothers girlfriend leaving your ex and your brother devastated. Then you sicked your parents on him because you weren't invited to the wedding and you wonder why they're uninvited. They're uninvited because they sided with you and showed their true colors. Anyone who would side with you is trash.
You are completely wrong and so obtuse.
I know there are people out there this dense and this entitled. Maybe the golden child for mommy and daddy - who never could do wrong, and for others would need to make way (which would explain why they tried to pressure brother). Check r/raisedbynarcissists for more similar examples - you`d be stunned by how many people can be like OP.
Well, 4 days later, this OP's brother found this post and was livid. He decided to make his own so that he could set the record straight.
'My brother slept with and ran off with my ex and now wants an invite to my wedding, getting my parents uninvited in the process'
For the record, I tried posting this 3 days ago but my account was too new.
I(24m) wasn't even going to make a post about this, but my brother, who I'll call Turk(25m), made posts about it, so I thought I should share my side of the story. I'll use the same names he did for the sake of simplicity. My fiance is 'Maria'(24f) and my ex is 'Jen'(24f)
A little over 5 years ago, my brother started dating Maria, my (now) fiance. 3 months after they started dating, they set me up with her (now ex) best friend, Jen. The 4 of us did a lot together since the girls were best friends.
Turk and Maria dated for a year, and Jen and I dated for 9 months. At the end of our relationship, I came home early and found Turk and Jen having s3x in my bed. After I processed the situation, I called Maria because I'd want to know if I was in her place.
She came over, and we confronted Turk and Jen. They dumped us, and I found out 2 days later, started dating each other. It broke me.
I came home to find my brother f*cking my girlfriend only to run off with her. I had to move back in with my parents. It was infuriating because they kept talking about how happy Turk and Jen were.
Throughout the next couple of months, Maria and I started talking. We were two people in similar sh*tty situations, and we found some comfort in each other.
4 months after we got dumped, Maria and I officially started dating. 6 months after we got dumped, Turk found out that Jen was cheating on him and she left him for the other guy (I actually only found this out today from reading Turk's post). Maria would get the occasional message from Turk, trying to reconnect but she ignored him.
Anyway, moving on to now. Maria and I are engaged and getting married in September. My parents were invited until my mom called me and threatened to not come if I didn't invite Turk.
I told her to not bother coming regardless. In my mother's eyes, Turk can do no wrong. When he f*cked and started dating my ex, I told my parents everything he did and my mom tried defending him.
Our relationship isn't the greatest but it was somewhat decent. After I uninvited my parents (I only uninvited my mom but my dad texted me and said he's not coming if my mom isn't) Turk blew up my phone trying to get ahold of me. This is the first time he's even tried reaching out to me in 4 years.
Like I said before, Turk posted about this situation here on reddit aswell and apparently my parents told him that Maria and I were getting married and that started this whole thing of them getting uninvited. He's stopped calling me but he's blowing up my phone with texts begging me to re-invite my parents and possibly give him an invite.
So yeah, I just wanted to get my side out there.
Here were the top rated comments after hearing the other brother's side of the story:
Your mom downplaying what he did to you is kinda telling who's side she's on. I've come across that piece. It seems in Turks eyes; he didn't do anything wrong either. And trying to get ahold of Maria is also trying to steal her from you...
You're better off without all of them from your life, moving forward. Good luck with your upcoming wedding.
I read his post and think he is just as slimy now. Op, you are good. I am also super proud of you for standing up for yourself, it’s hard. You are now my prime example of what I would like to be in that regards.
Please make sure you have security at your wedding. Also tell your wonderful soon to be wife’s maid of honor. She will prep to make sure things go alright when your mother and brother show up.
Oh Jesus! I would say: ignore them but we all know they will crash your wedding. So maybe you need security or another location. Oh and LC/NC with your mom/both parents.
I just read your brothers post. All I can do is wish you and Maria a lovely and long life together. Congratulations 🎉🍾
We see this time and again. To other family members, they don't care about bad behavior that doesn't hurt them, they just care when their ability to have (or represent) a big happy family is compromised.
So they always put it on the injured party, make excuses, gaslight, or say crap like 'that is all in the past'. They don't care about anything except letting themselves believe that they have a good family. Screw that.
Your brother is an AH of the highest order, and it is fine that you never talk to him again. Your mom can make her choices. As can your dad. Just let them know, there are consequences.
You and Maria are healthy and mature and much more likely to be giving grandkids or having family events. If they want in on that, they have to be in. If they turn their back on you know, there is no guarantee that the door is going to stay open. They have to make their decisions, and their decisions have consequences.