'AITA for telling my SIL about my brother's debt after she insulted me and my wife?'
"AITA for telling my SIL about my brother's debt after she insulted me and my wife?"
No-Catch-8644
I'm a steamfitter and I work a lot of overtime. I work a lot of overtime because I hate working. So I usually work like a mad man for seven months of the year and take the other five off. My brother is a teacher and the first person in our family to graduate from university.
I have always been proud of him and he is actually pretty awesome. He married another teacher and they have two boys. His wife comes from a family of educated people. I think most of her relatives are college educated.
My wife and I are expecting our first child and we had my parents and my brother's family over so we could announce it. I spent the day getting my smoker going early and we set up for what I thought was going to be a nice visit and announcement.
Full disclosure, my wife and I currently live in a manufactured home (mobile home). We keep it tidy and it has city water and power. I'm not sure why but my sister-in-law decided that before dinner was the perfect time to tell her children that they needed to stay in school if they didn't want to end up like me and my wife.
I saw red and was about to let her have it but my mom and brother told her that she was being rude and that she needed to apologize. She didn't. She doubled down and said that we were doing okay for the two of us but what if we wanted a child? She just didn't want her kids to end up like us.
I told my brother he needed to tell her to shut up or they needed to leave. She said that she was just thinking about our future and our children's future. I told her then that my kids would probably be okay as soon as her husband paid me back for his education that I paid for. My brother has no student loans because I paid for his education.
I told her that my current house wasn't great but that the construction across the road was our new house we were having built since my wife and I owned the quarter section of land our trailer is on.
I then told her that since I make more money than her and my brother combined while only working a little over half a year I think we will be okay. I would not actually call in the loan to my brother.
I know that they are living just within their means and do not have the money to pay me back. She got embarrassed and they left. I told my parents about the baby and we had a ton of left overs since four people left.
My parents, my wife and my brother all said that I didn't need to lose my cool with her and that she meant well. My mom said that I was vulgar to point out how much money I make. I don't know. I hated myself for pointing out that my brother is poor compared to me but I didn't start the conversation.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Prestigious-Maybe-73
NTA She should not denigrate what you do for a living. Your brother should have told her that he owed you money.
No-Catch-8644 OP responded:
I know. I just feel shi++y for bringing him into a fight he didn't want.
Beardy_Will
He had ample opportunity to correct her. If my missus said something like this I would have started talking before she'd even finished her first sentence. Your mum saying its crass to talk about money - your SIL started it by sh+t talking you at your own dinner table and you quickly shut down that conversation.
SilverStars413
NTA, she 100% started it and had it coming. It would've been more polite for you not to, sure, but it also woulda been way more polite for her not to use you as a warning tale to your face. Can't believe she did that after you paid for her husband's education.
h3llios
She wanted to play the " higher education" game and lost. I don't understand why some college educated people feel they are superior to everybody else. Some people would fall on their back sides if they knew how much some of these jobs pay. I know a guy who teaches at university and can't afford jack.
I guess your only fault was that you could have chosen the higher road, but I don't fault you for going your route. Some people need to be " educated." NTA.
embopbopbopdoowop
“My parents, my wife and my brother all said … that she meant well.”
I N F O: huh?!
NTA. Everyone else sucks except the kids.
No-Catch-8644 OP responded:
She does not want her kids "working with their hands."
embopbopbopdoowop
So holding you up as a cautionary tale was meaning well? NOPE. No way. She was way out of line. Ask everyone if they’re demanding she apologize for what she said.