'AITA for telling my brother he can't raise his child in my house?'
"AITA for telling my brother he can't raise his child in my house?"
J1995916
I (27M) have had dreams of being a homeowner for as long as I can remember. I actually started saving for a house since I was 18. I bought a 3/2 house 3 years ago and while it's not the best house I am beyond blessed to own my own house and home ownership is everything I always hoped it would be.
To be able to come home and have everything exactly where I left it, to be able to play video games all day and have no one tell me otherwise, it feels like I am free and in control of my own life, which is all I've always ever wanted.
About a year ago my older brother (36M) and his wife (30f) asked to move in with me because, while they can afford rent, they do not want to pay $2000 a month for an apartment.
While I did not want them here, I reluctantly agreed because I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have 2 empty rooms in my house knowing he would let me live with him if I had ever asked.
He said I was also fortunate enough to have family to live with while I was saving to buy my house. I do not charge them any rent or ask for anything, but they give me around $400 a month to help out.
My brother and his wife had been trying to conceive a child for a long time and are finally successful in doing so. They are expecting in a few months. While I am extremely happy for them I also do not want them living with me.
I did not buy my house for them, I bought it for me. I did not sign up for having my living room filled with baby toys and having my gaming room turned into a kid's bedroom. I did not sign up for my fridge being full of milk for a kid that isn't mine.
This leads to today where I have asked them to move out before the birth of their child. They were both extremely offended and hurt that I told them this. My family also seems to think it is wrong of me to ask them to find their own place when they are expecting a child. AITA for asking my brother to move out?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Spare-Imagination132
NTA, your home is your sanctuary. You have been generous to let them live with you and save money for their own place. A baby completely changes the everything in the house. They are loud, will have to eventually baby proof, parents will tell you to be quiet and not wake the baby, etc..
You could have given them a warning that if they had a baby they would have to move out. But it is your home and you have every right to control what happens in your home. It somewhat sounds like they are planning to spend years living with you. I wouldn’t want a baby invading my space.
It is kinda disrespectful of them to just assume you would be okay with them having a baby. Plus they shouldn’t have been trying to have a baby when they don’t have their own roof over their heads. Plus if people are upset with you asking them to leave, then those people should house the soon to be family of 3.
Fuzzy_Laugh_1117
Agree with everything you said except for OP giving his bro warning not to have to baby -- who in their right goddamn mind gets pregnant when they are bunking in with someone bc rents are too high? OPs bro and SIL sound pretty entitled, and I sure hope they don't make him go to the trouble of legally evicting them.
I wouldn't put it past the type of people that would purposely get pregnant while someone else is doing them this type of huge favour. Beyond disrespectful, I think they are taking advantage of OPs good nature 💯. OP is NTA as long as he kicks them to the curb asap.
Sloppypoopypoppy
NTA - "I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have 2 empty rooms in my house knowing he would let me live with him if I had ever asked."
You absolutely can. You were very kind to take them in in the first place - if you didn’t have your own place, what was their plan, exactly? Their poor planning is not your fault, or your problem. 9 months is plenty of time to find somewhere.
SadFlatworm1436
NTA they’ve had the ability to save $1600 per month since you let them move in so they should be in a good place to secure their own place. This is your home…not theirs. If your family are so upset let them open their doors.
Substantial_Jaguar41
NTA. You have been more than generous to them and they should have had time to build up savings. Did they really think this arrangement would be permanent? "My family also seems to think it is wrong of me to ask them to find their own place when they are expecting a child." Guess what? Mature people usually have housing arranged before starting a family.
OP added after reading the comments:
Thank you everyone for all the replies. I am not one much for responding to messages, but I just wanted to let you all know I have read your responses and appreciate your feedback.