Man inherits grandfather's fortune, step-siblings insist they deserve a cut. AITA?
"AITA for Not Sharing My Inheritance with My Step-Siblings?"
country819
I'm facing a dilemma and could really use some impartial advice. I'm a 30-year-old guy who recently received an inheritance from my late grandfather. He left me a substantial amount, which was surprising but not entirely unexpected.
My grandfather and I were very close; I spent a lot of time with him growing up, especially after my own father passed away when I was young. Here's the issue:
I have two step-siblings who didn't receive anything. They're my stepmom's kids from her previous marriage. We've all lived together since I was about 12, and we get along okay, but we've never been particularly close. My grandfather knew them but wasn't as connected to them as he was to me.
After the will was read, my step-siblings seemed a bit upset. My stepmom approached me and gently suggested that sharing some of the inheritance with them would be a fair thing to do, considering we are a family. She mentioned it could help with their student loans and starting their careers.
I understand where she's coming from, and I feel for my step-siblings, but at the same time, I also feel like this inheritance was my grandfather's way of looking out for me, specifically. Plus, I have plans for the money – paying off my own debts and investing in a home.
Some of my friends say that I have no obligation to share the inheritance and that it was my grandfather's decision to leave it all to me. Others think I'm being selfish and that as a family, I should want to help my step-siblings.
On one hand, I want to honor my grandfather's wishes and use the inheritance for my future. On the other hand, I wonder if I'm being unfair to my step-siblings. Am I the asshole for wanting to keep the inheritance to myself?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Eve-3
It was your grandfather's money and his choice what would happen with it. He wrote a will. This isn't an oops I forgot to send a birthday card, this was an intentional choice he made. Do as you please with the money, no guilt.
Weareallme
Better even, try to do what your grandfather wanted you to do with the money. That's probably what you want to do for yourself, not share with your step siblings. Otherwise he would have included them in the will. NTA for not sharing.
IAte3Vegans
even without a will he would have gotten it all, the step siblings have no familial relation to OP's grandfather. would be weird for him to leave them money too. OP, keep the cash, taking care of yourself with YOUR money isn't selfish, what the stepmom asked was selfish!
CouchcarrotStatus
NTA…it’s just a cash grab, highly doubt step siblings would do the same.
Motor-Barracuda9992
Your grandfather knew your step siblings’ names and if he wanted them to receive a portion of the inheritance he would’ve written them into the will.
Soranos_71
I highly doubt the step siblings will share an inheritance if they get one from their side of the family….
realfuckingoriginal
This! He’s only known those kids for a short time, it’s not like they were fully raised by OP’s father or anything like that. Stepmom just wants money. And it sounds like it’s not even money for necessities, just something nice to help them out. NTA.
Very-last-boyscout
NTA
"Some of my friends say that I have no obligation to share the inheritance and that it was my grandfather's decision to leave it all to me."
And they are right. It was your grandfathers will. Period.
"Others think I'm being selfish and that as a family, I should want to help my step-siblings."
Your friends being concerned is soooo nice. Maybe they can start a money pool for your step-siblings. Or a raffle? A raffle would be nice. Maybe one of them could sell a kidney? I think most of them would have two kidneys anyway.
"On one hand, I want to honor my grandfather's wishes and use the inheritance for my future."
Stop right there. That is the only hand here. Ignore any other hands.
SnooPets8873
It’s easy for people to criticize when it isn’t their family and isn’t their money because it costs them nothing. Your grandfather’s will should be respected. He apparently did not think of your stepbrothers as his grandchildren.
To be honest, I appreciate the emphasis on blending families within a household and being welcoming within extended family, but it isn’t reasonable in My opinion to expect people to develop feelings for kids as if they were their own grandchildren or niblings unless there is an adoption of the kids by their son/daughter/sibling.
Are your stepbrothers going to hand over what their grandparents or aunts and uncles leave them one day? I’m guessing no and they shouldn’t feel obligated to do it.