'AITA for getting my son a mini fridge and 2 locks for his room because his sister steals?'
"AITA for getting my son a mini fridge and 2 locks for his room because his sister steals?"
I have 2 kids, 17M and 16F. Both of them have jobs. My kids are different in every way possible.
My son usually saves his money and when he does spend it he is cheap with it. He has a lot of money saved from when he started working. He only spends large amounts around his birthday or Christmas for himself or for the family.
He enjoys cooking and he's a damn good cook. He has cooked for the family before. When he has leftovers, and they’re his unless he says otherwise.
My daughter is the opposite, she buys a lot of stuff with her money. She still leaves enough saved over in case she needs to buy food or toiletries. She doesn’t like cooking, so she eats what my wife or I cook.
The issue is, my daughter has been stealing from my son recently. She’ll eat his leftovers, bring some to school, things like that. She goes into his room and wears his clothes or accessories to school.
Her brother is of course upset by this. If she asked he might have said yes, but she doesn’t. Her defense for the food is that it is in the fridge, so that means that anyone can take from it.
Her defense for the clothes is that his clothes fit her style better, and she can’t find clothes like her brother wears. He’s given her the site that he buys his clothes from, but she hasn’t bought clothes from there because it’s pricey.
My son came up to me upset and asked if he could get locks for his room (some of the doors don’t have locks), and that he’s been saving up for a mini fridge. I decided that I’d pay for the mini fridge, and get him the locks. He has two keys for his room now.
My daughter is very clearly upset, but hasn’t said anything. My wife understands the mini fridge, but thinks the two locks are too much. She thinks its treating our daughter like a criminal. My MIL agrees with my wife. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
AgeLower1081
NTA. if your daughter doesn't want to be treated like a criminal then she needs to stop acting like a criminal. She's literally stealing his clothing and food. And your wife is enabling her. I'm glad that you you bought the locks and fridge for your son. It must be very unnerving for your son to realize that his sister has no problems stealing his belongings.
AllegraO
It’s only a matter of time until she’d have started stealing his money, too. NTA.
No-Concentrate-7560
Yep, I was a saver and my sister the spender. She admits decades later she used to steal from me all the time then gas light be when I’d be upset over missing money. Teenagers can be a**holes.
lura66
NTA. I was the sibling that was always getting stolen from. My mom allowed me a deadbolt to my room to combat my sister stealing. You are treating her like a criminal because stealing is a crime. You are also teaching your son that it is okay to set boundaries. Both are valuable lessons.
Also just a side note that was over a decade ago. My sister learned to stop stealing from that and its now a joke in the family. Your daughter being locked out of a room that is not hers to enter will not kill her.
Standard-Park
NTA. Your daughter IS a criminal and deserves to feel ashamed of her behavior. I don't think she's actually upset because she's being treated like a criminal tho. Most likely she's just p*ssed she can't steal his stuff anymore. W Dad moment.
IndependentIdeal5962
NTA. Your wife thinks you're treating your daughter like a criminal? last time I checked, stealing was a crime. At this moment police would be overkill but your daughter needs to learn boundaries.
After reading the comments OP added these edits:
EDIT 1: Thank you for the comments. I plan to talk to my wife about punishments. She lifts any punishments I have given my daughter. If we can come to an agreement and punish her, and she keeps stealing i’ll talk to her about therapy.
EDIT 2: Because i’m still getting the same questions. Yes there's food and yes we buy our kids toiletries. My daughter is picky about some stuff, like her shampoo and conditioner. So she buys that herself. As for food, my son isn’t the biggest fan of our cooking while my daughter prefer it. But if she doesn’t want to eat what we cooked, she buys food for herself.