Woman uses Florida law to hospitalize herself when sister refuses to watch her new baby. AITA?
"AITAH for not helping my sister with her new baby which 'caused her to have a mental breakdown'"
aitah234
My sister gave birth three months ago. Her husband works a lot and uses that as an excuse to not be a parent at all. She should’ve seen this coming because he didn’t cook or clean before the baby was born, so I'm not sure why it’s surprising that he’s still the lazy man that he was before.
Her baby never sleeps and has some minor health issues. It’s a boy and he has an ear infection right now. Our parents live across the country, they wanted to retire in Florida. My sister doesn’t have any friends because she’s incredibly hard to get along with.
So, when the baby was coming, she expected me to throw a baby shower (which I didn’t and got chewed out for by our parents), and she’s been constantly asking me to come over and help her. She says she’s overwhelmed with the baby and her health issues.
I work full time and have a husband and friends, and I don’t want to go over there and play maid and babysitter for a sibling I don’t really care for. I don’t like kids at all either. I’m very childfree.
I suggested our parents go and stay with them to help out, but my brother-in-law said he doesn’t want them staying in his house. They can’t afford an air bnb or flights.
My sister admitted herself to the hospital and got Baker Acted and sent to a psych facility. (For clarification, the Baker Act is a Florida law that enables families and loved ones to provide emergency mental health services and temporary detention for people who are impaired because of their mental illness, and who are unable to determine their needs for treatment.)
Her baby is with her husband but he plans on dropping him off at his parents' till my sister gets out of the hospital.
My parents are non stop chewing me out for not helping her, but I just don’t understand why they think I would spend my limited free time cleaning her house or child minding. I know if the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t help me.
I normally have a decent relationship with my parents, we see each other at holidays. So having them yell at me has been kind of annoying. AITAH? My whole life, my sister has been the type to always need help from others but never offer any, so maybe I’m biased.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
l3ex_G
Nta, the husband needs to step up, the in laws are helping so why does it have to fall on you? Your parents are just putting it on you because they can’t call out your sister or her husband. The husband literally saw his wife break down and still didn’t invite your parents.
Shes_Crafty_4301
Oh he did step up though - he’s taking his OWN CHILD to his parents, so they can take care of him. What a complete a$$hole.
louloutre75
I'd say sis is an AH too. Who makes a child with such a man and than expects everybody but him to help out?
ohshesays
This poor f*cking baby.
wlfwrtr
NTA If BIL could ask his own family for help while she's in hospital then he could have done it before she went to hospital.
The OP responded here:
aitah234
MIl hates my sister to the point she didn’t go to their wedding. I don’t think she’d be willing to help with my sisters child unless it was an emergency.
Ok-Profession-9372
NTA. In order of assholery it's your brother-in-law and then your sister (for having a baby with said BIL) and expecting her family to clean up her mess.
yourfuturepresident
NTA Boundaries are important and you don’t have any requirement to help a sibling, that’s still a choice. It’s unfortunate what your sister is going through but that isn’t your fault. I understand how your parents would be frustrated you didn’t step up, but that doesn’t put you in the wrong.
Honestly it defintley reeks of sexism, and I imagine that if you were a man there wouldn’t be the expectation that you provide free caregiving.