Stepdad tested when stepdaughter begs to move in; tells him to kick his kids out.
"AITAH for not letting my stepdaughter and her family move into my house?"
Commercial-Panda703
When I married my wife she had two kids. Juana was 12 and Iago 8. We had two of our own afterwards. Juana and Iago's dad Juan is, in my opinion, not a good guy. He rarely paid child support and he worked under the table a lot to lower the amount he should pay.
One Christmas, he stayed with us so he see the kids open gifts in the morning. He had audacity to switch a label on a gift I got Iago so it came from him. I just swallowed the disrespectful behavior to not start a fight with the kids present.
His kids love him though. He can do no wrong in their eyes. When Juana got married, he walked her down the aisle even though I paid for the wedding. I wasn't even acknowledged on the invitation.
Once again, I didn't start any fights because the wedding wasn't about me. When Juana had her first child I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not going to be her kids grandfather. I was just her mom's husband.
Iago and I are friends. He is always polite with me and we have bonded somewhat. After their mom died, he still came to see me and we often share a meal. He has brought his fiance to meet me and he hand delivered my invitation to make sure I knew he wanted me there.
Since her mom's passing, Juana has not contacted me. The funeral was the last time I saw her or her kids. I thought Iago's wedding would be the next time I would see her.
However, the economy has kicked her family pretty hard and they lost their house. They need a place to stay. She called me about moving in with me. She wants me to move my kids into their old rooms so her family can have the basement suite in my house.
I told her no. I wasn't going to uproot my kids from their area to accommodate her. I offered to let her have two rooms upstairs with me. She said she didn't want that. Only the basement suite would do. I said it wasn't going to happen and left it at that.
Her father won't/can't help her out since he lives in a bachelor apartment. Iago lives in another city. Juana said that if her mother were alive she would make me let her have the basement since it was her house too.
I reminded her that I owned the house before I married her mom and that it was 100% mine. Iago has reached out and I made sure he knew the whole story. He knows I offered her two rooms for free. He said she was dumb not to take the help.
I feel bad about this whole situation but I'm not going to move my kids out of their space. They are teenagers now and I am teaching them to take care of themselves. They are also still dealing with losing their mom.
I am not super excited about letting someone who dislikes me into our lives. But I'm still willing to help her. I feel like an AH but I am not changing my mind. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
PeanutGallery10
NTA. You were always her mother's husband not her stepfather.
kiwi-sparkle
…or even as the father of her half siblings. It also sounds like she hasn’t even been in touch with them. Yet she’s now happy to upset all your lives.
Apart_Foundation1702
Exactly! She's lucky you offered her the 2 bedrooms because personally speaking I wouldn't let her in my house after all the disrespect she has shown me right up until now but op is a better person than me (the most she would get from me is a long stay motel for 1 month, or a ride to the local housing office . If I'm feeling charitable).
She's a user and having been taking advantage of OP for years, and if she did move in I doubt she would ever leave. She's very entitled for someone who is facing homelessness. NTA don't let someone in your house that hates you! It would be a complete nightmare!
Very-last-boyscout
NTA. And I wouldn't even have offered the two rooms. It's her life, She is an adult. She made her choices.
celticmusebooks
NTA your step daughter painted herself in this corner and she'll need to figure a way out. Personally, I think you need to rescind the offer of two rooms upstairs as I don't trust her, her husband, and her kids to not bully and harass your bio kids into giving up their space for her and her family.
And like most leaches, once they move in to "free" housing getting them back out will take a Vatican authenticated miracle. IMHO that's why they're so adamant about having the basement apartment because she already KNOWS this is a long term living situation.
Odd_Welcome7940
NTA. Beggars can't be choosers. She is begging someone she specifically told was not family in her mind. Honestly, you are way too nice to even offer her those 2 rooms.
Beautiful-Story2811
NTAH! Stand firm and DO NOT let her into your home. No good can come of it. She has already shown you how little you mean to her, and right now you're just a means to an end. I know that life should not be tit for tat, but ask yourself, if the situations were reversed, would she offer you the same hospitality?
I think we both know the answer to that question. If you feel so inclined and genuinely want to help her, perhaps offer a monetary gift to help out ...something you can easily afford to give away, because she's not going to pay you back. That would be the most I would be willing to do. I would not offer my home, not even for a night.