'AITA for refusing to shave my hair and donate it to my half-sister with cancer?'
"AITA for refusing to shave my hair and donate it to my half-sister with cancer?"
So my(17f) half-sister (16f) was diagnosed with cancer few weeks ago. We were never really close since I live with my grandparents and she lives with our dad and her mom(I refuse to live with her mom, well because she is very much the 'almond' mom).
We would meet maybe once a week. She wanted to have a closer relationship with me, but I just couldn't... She is very different from me, she eats healthy every single day, she does sports, goes to the gym and runs in the morning.
And while all of this is very amazing and I'm extremely jealous of her lifestyle, the problem was that she would not shut up about it and shame me for not doing the same. Being with her is just exhausting.
So now that she is in the hospital, I visited because I live near the hospital and all of her family works so I just kept her company. She asked me whether I would shave my head, and I immediately told her no. The only good thing about me is my long, thick, red curly hair that I wouldn't trade for anything.
She became visibly upset but didn't say anything. Later my father, her mom and some of our relatives came to my house and started questioning me as to why I wouldn't shave my head in solidarity, because a few of our cousins did do that...
Most of them are boys and the girl has always had a buzz cut so that's not a problem for her. I just told them that I put so much care into my hair and that I will not be shaving it. Turns out her mom wanted my hair for a wig you can create out of your natural hair. That felt like even more of a reason for me not to shave it....
I just lashed out and later stated that why tf would I do anything for a relative that I barely know and want nothing to do with? My dad got extremely angry and now refuses to talk to me. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. Even if it wasn’t for the very bizarre “we wanted your hair for a wig…” twist at the end (seriously wtf?), forcing someone to make a gesture in solidarity is not actual solidarity. It’s manipulative and coercion. People are supposed to offer the gesture, not have it expected of them. Your family is really weird.
A person (like you) is so much more than one physical attribute or even all of their physical attributes taken together. It's totally fine to love your hair, and you are on very solid ground rejecting the notion that you need to shave it off, I'm not questioning that. I just hope you understand that there's far more good about you than your hair.
Just so you can tell them, they are also factually incorrect about using your hair to make a wig for your stepsister.
In order to make 1 single wig, it can take around 3 full heads of hair. More for curly hair. This is because of individual hair lengths, due to hair fall, and the desire to limit that with wigs. So, donating your single head of hair would NOT result in a full wig of hair for the stepsister.
Not to mention, the price of getting that wig made, is out of most people's price range for wigs. As well as, this is YOUR hair!!!! NO ONE gets to just TAKE it WTF?!!?!? Also, creepy. No. All of the no. NTA.
Nta, is her mom shaving her head too? Tell them they are not entitled to you or your hair.
The OP went on to mention that neither her half-sister's mom or father were planning to shave their heads.
That's kinda creepy. 'Shave your head so I can make a wig for my daughter out of your hair'? What the f*ck? Glad you're standing your ground. But I would also let your grandparents know about this just in case. Your dad not talking to you now seems to be for the best. NTA.
As a cancer survivor who lost my waist long, super straight, blonde hair in chemo, NTA! It was SOOO hard for me to lose my hair. It was my best physical feature & I loved it so much. But if ANYONE shaved their hair for me, I would have been SO mad!
Make a donation to research for the type of cancer she has. Get her soft socks, fun hats & scarves, and hard candy (for mouth sores). Something that would actually make a difference. But do NOT cut your hair!