'AITA for flipping out on my unemployed BIL for eating so much?'
"AITA for flipping out on my unemployed BIL for eating so much?"
30f. I have a family of 5 (husband, 3 kids) and food cost in today's world for the month costs easily $600-$700. My SIL (husband's sister- 43), her husband 'David' (46) and their daughter (12) lost their house due to inflation cost and needed somewhere to go.
The only reason I agreed to let them come here was because I morally could not see a child homeless. SIL works constantly and David has been unemployed for nearly a year due to a 'back injury' (he has a habit of quitting jobs due to injuries that doctors can't find).
Now, the only stipulation we had was that these people were to buy ALL their own food and eat separately because, to be blunt (and yes, I'm going to sound like an a**), they are all obese and eat 3x what my entire family does and I CANNOT afford to feed them.
To put it this way, they were getting $740 in EBT up until 6 months ago and they were still exceeding that budget by 2x. So, we don't charge them rent but they do absolutely need to buy their own food and we made that clear so many times prior to them moving in here 2 months ago.
Well, 2 weeks ago I went grocery shopping for my family. I splurged a bit and got my kids 2x 16 count sausage patties that they like (it's an expensive brand so they don't get them often).
Well, yesterday I noticed that most of the sausage and damn near all the eggs were gone (the big 60 count boxes).
I knew I hadn't personally made my kids breakfast with either item more than once so I asked my husband about it to see if he had and he said no. I confronted SIL and her husband and they both swear they hadn't touched our food.
But, I got up earlier than usual this morning (I don't leave for work until 8 and I was up at 5am- couldn't sleep). I walked downstairs to the kitchen and found my BIL (the only one awake) cooking up literally 8 eggs and 8 sausage patties (OUR food that he swore he wasnt touching).
He also had hash browns, biscuits and sausage gravy but that was theirs. I immediately flipped out. I knew I wasn't going crazy but they all made out like I was.
SIL heard the commotion and comes out to see me flipping out on David about eating all of our food and she was immediately down my throat. 'In our family we don't make people feel like f*cking sh*t for eating when they are hungry, I will f*%$#ng pay you back'.
So I held my hand out. Those sausages and eggs cost me almost $40 alone and he ate all of it. SIL is saying I'm an AH and that it's 'not a big deal'. I argued it is. It's a huge deal actually because I was lied to and he ate so much that my kids now have none.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA what-so-ever. You have been nothing but kind to these people. You let them in your house, let them use your facilities, gave them a place to sleep for seemingly rent-free. This isn't a BIL eating too much issue. They f*cked up by:
- using your s@*t that you said not to use
-lying about it
-bad-mouthing you IN YOUR OWN HOUSE
Let them find some other homeowner that will let them live rent-free and bad-mouth themselves. Kick those f*ckers out, because who KNOWS what else they will do? I feel bad for the kid, but it is NOT your problem.
Eating that much is just disgusting. Op, how did they lose their house to inflation? Sounds like they lost it to their own excess. Time to create a timeline for them to move out.
100% NTA. They are taking advantage of you. And they KNOW it, but are unable to face their guilt, so they are trying to turn it on you.
BIL is a skilled mooch. He's unemployed and quits often, he's been coasting on his wife's work, now he's also coasting on yours. He's very likely beyond fixing (by you), and will continue to play the innocent/dumb act forever. 'My back hurts, I can't work' and eating all of your food but each time playing it off as if it's just a one-off thing 'oh, just wanted a snack, sorry, don't get so uptight!!'
Also, when she says 'in our family', you should reply 'this is not YOUR family. You are in MY house, eating MY food, both paid for with MY money. So when you get your own house and your own food, you can set whatever rules you want. Until then, in MY family adults pay their way and don't act like greedy, unemployed, spoiled children.'
'The kid can stay, you two need to leave'
NTA but you need to correct your post.
They aren’t homeless due to inflation.
They are homeless due to their own choices. IE: quitting jobs and Eating too much.