'AITA for refusing to give my brother and SIL our grandma’s jewelry?'
"AITA for refusing to give my brother and SIL our grandma’s jewelry?"
My (23F) dad cheated on his wife with my mom, but they stayed together. My mom died when I was a few months old and my stepmom didn’t want me in her house so I was raised by my grandparents, who passed away two years ago. My dad died before them so everything was willed to my half brother (28) and I.
I inherited their house, almost everything in it, and all of my grandma’s jewelry, which is worth about $750,000.
I was also the sole beneficiary to their life insurance. My brother got a few heirlooms and some money but it was far less then what I got because he inherited a lot from our dad while I got pretty much nothing.
At the time, he didn’t have a problem with it. He is getting married soon and I was talking to his fiancée, who told me that my brother told her that our grandma wanted his future wife to get married wearing the jewelry she wore at her wedding. I have no idea why he told her this. He was not close to our grandma at all.
She definitely did not promise him her wedding jewelry. I am actually planning on wearing it to my wedding and talked to my grandma about that. I told my SIL that I can’t give her the jewelry.
She can borrow it for her wedding but she has to give it back because I plan on wearing it to my wedding too. She told me she doesn’t want her sister in law to wear the same jewelry as her. I told her that I couldn’t give her the jewelry and if my grandma wanted my brother’s wife to have it then she would have willed it to him. I thought that was the end of it but it was not.
My brother called me that night and told me that his fiancée was crying because of me and he deserved to have something from our grandma because I inherited a lot more than him.
I reminded him that I grew up with my grandparents and had a much closer relationship with them. He cussed me out and said that I tricked them into leaving me most of their money. This isn’t true.
They raised me since I was a few months old and I went to a local university instead of my dream school so I would be able to stay home and care for them in their final years, so they obviously had a better relationship with me.
I told him that his fiancée can borrow the jewelry if she really wants to wear it to her wedding but I can’t give it to her. His mom called me the next day and called me all sorts of nasty things for depriving my brother of something that my grandma promised to give him.
If my grandma had actually promised him that, then I would have given him the jewelry. But I know she didn’t, so I’m not giving it to him.
Edit: All the jewelry is insured and except a few small pieces I wear regularly is in a safe deposit box at the bank. The jewelry in question is a necklace and earrings. I will not let them borrow it after all this but I might give her something else if they don’t shut up.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Absolutely NTA, and at this point, don’t even let your brother’s fiancée borrow the jewelry because I highly doubt you’d get it back without having to get the police involved.
Or buy an expensive looking but fake jewelry set saying it's from the collection and let her 'borrow it.' Pretend to have great fake reservation. Then cackle as she flaunts it.
Do not let your brothers fiancé borrow the jewelry. You’ll never get it back.
NTA - Op, I’d really rethink your offer to lend the jewelry - a good rule of thumb is to not lend out anything with sentimental attachment for you - basically never lend something that can’t be easily replaced. Definitely never lend something so emotionally valuable to people who start out with lies like this, things aren’t adding up!
His fiancée cannot borrow the jewelry, because then you will never get it back. You are being the doormat to these greedy people. Stop talking to them. Block them, NC them, it's over. NTA, but you are being naive in confrontation with the enemy.
Edit from OP:
All the jewelry is insured and except a few small pieces I wear regularly is in a safe deposit box at the bank. The jewelry in question is a necklace and earrings. I will not let them borrow it after all this but I might give her something else if they don’t shut up.