Woman throws out sister and her children for reading her diary out loud at work party. AITA?
"AITAH for throwing my sister and her children out in front of all the guests?"
Lonely-Dare-4966
My (f32) older sister (f47) has always been a little meanspirited but everyone in my family has appeased her due to our parents, especially our mother. No matter what she has done our mother will make excuses for her. Yesterday she took it to another level.
She's recently seperated because of her shenanigans and my mother pressured me to allow her and her children (3f, 5m, 8m, 11f, 13m) to stay with me as my other siblings (f25, 30m, 37f, m43) wouldn't take her in. They all made excuses that they have family and I don't have a partner so it makes sense that I put up with her.
I agreed but told her that no matter what happened in the past I wouldn't put up with her beahviour anymore. This is my newly bought house and I expected them all to behave and follow house rules.
No sneaking around and going through cupboards and no taking food which is labelled (I meal prep for work), no reading diaries (she has done this on several occasions when we lived together as children and when we houseshared) or going on my devices without prior permission (a laptop is available for guest use). No 'borrowing' my clothes.
She has stayed with me for a month and managed to break all rules. When confronted her go to answer is 'So what?' it's only a diary/dress/some food you can make more and so on. Her children have also broken a few of my things. Everytime my mother has convinced me to let her stay due to her situation and that the children are just children.
Yesterday I had a work party at my place and I am a private person so I don't discuss my priavte life with anyone. It's usually hi and bye for me. My team leader convinced me to have the party at my place in return for reimbursement.
Strike one was her coming down before the party and wearing the dress I had chosen for the party but, due to her being a size 12, she ripped it in the sides as I am a size 8. I didn't want to ruin the party so told her to quit her BS and put on a different dress.
She mingled with my guests and told several embarassing stories (quite a few made up ones too). I tried to keep my cool. Her youngest was also at the party despite our agreement that she had to put her to bed early. She puked on one of the managers who took it in stride and said she was only a baby and these things happen.
At the meal, my sister called for attention by tapping her champagne glass. This is when s@*t hit the fan. She started reading out loud from my diary. Pages with things I haven't shared with my closest friends nevermind coworkers.
She got about half a page down before I grabbed her and took her to the door and threw her out. I also grabbed her children and chucked them out. Then I went upstairs and grabbed what I could of hers and threw it out the second floor window. There was no going back from that and my guests made their excuses and left.
This morning my mother left me some choice words on my answer phone and my older brother is angry as he has to put up with her until they can convince me to take her back as my mother said. My sister left me ten plus messages on how disrespectful I was.
I have taken the week off work, but can't see how I can return ever again. AITAH for not being patient with her during her grieving moment in life?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Bright_Sea_7567
WTF. Tell your whole family to go screw themselves and change your locks.
JustMyThoughtNow
And all passwords. She had probably snooped thru everything you own.
The_Crown_And_Anchor
Change the locks on your door. Put cameras inside and outside of your house. Block everyone in your family for the time being. Everyone thinks this is your problem to solve but it's not. So just remove yourself entirely and let the cameras alert you if they show up so you can not answer the door or you can call the police. NTA.
The OP responded here:
Lonely-Dare-4966
I already have cameras, but my parents do keep sparek keys to all our houses just in case. I think I have to change that.
According_Ad6364
NTA, you put up with a lot more than I would have. Does your family not realize that she could have put your job at risk doing all of this?
MystBox
Wait I thought she separated because her shenanigans were too much for her parnter and now it's'grieving'? Also your older brother has NO right to be even angry at you. Why even? Why can't dear mother not take in the sister?
Anyway, NTA she crossed the line in telling others something that was private when she was not even part of the party. Eldest sister should be ashamed on her behavior. What even was the purpose? To embarrass you and to humiliate you with stuff that may or may not be true?They (sister and kids) have broken ALL your rules, so that's that.
The OP responded again here:
Lonely-Dare-4966
My mother calls it grieving and she left many messages with the youngest niece crying in the background as she said it's my fault they are homeless in their hour of need. She wants me to step up as thier aunt as their father has made their mother 'grieve' due to the sepetation.
My mother won't take her in as her children are too young and she suffers from high blood pressure. She says she can't do it full time. She left a message saying the did I really want her to die of high blood pressure instead of looking after my nephews an nieces.