Aunt secretly steals ashes from family locket, despite deceased's dying wishes.
Dying wishes are always suppose to be respected.
In this case, one woman caught her aunt red-handed, betraying the request of her late relative. The insuing argument brought up much deeper familial issues and made her question her relationship with her family.
'Entitled aunt stole ashes'
When I (20f) was a kid, my beautiful great-aunt, Beth, sadly passed away from aggressive cancer. She was cremated, and my mother was given a small pendant with her ashes in it. Due to some messy family problems, Beth stated that she never wanted any of her ashes to go to my great-grandmother (80f).
It is important to note that great-grandma, despite being a literal millionaire, refused to help pay for Beth’s cancer treatments because she “should’ve married a richer man.” It’s common in my family to pass the pendant around as a token of strength, which is why I thought nothing of it when my aunt Kathy (40f) asked to borrow the pendant, which was in my care.
She said her doctor thought she had cancer, and she wanted to wear it for the biopsy. I didn’t think twice before I gave it to her.
Two weeks later, she returns the pendant, and I noticed a large glob of superglue on top of the screw that seals the ashes in the pendant.
I brought this up to my mom, who suggested that I try to open it. I tried, but the screw was super glued into the pendant and I didn’t have the tools to get it out without damaging the necklace.
We brought it up to Kathy, and she nervously shrugged it off. I mailed it to my mom to fiddle with, and put the issue at the back of my mind.
A few weeks later, my great grandma came to town for a visit. Last week my mom was finally able to crack the necklace open. Lo and behold, the ashes were nowhere to be found. I instantly knew Kathy stole the ashes and gave them to great-grandma, against Beth’s dying wish.
My mom called up Kathy and asked her if she stole them. She was caught so off guard, she admitted to it. However, she didn’t apologize for stealing them. She said she “would never have done it if she knew we would’ve found out” and that maybe my mother and I wouldn’t be so upset if we never opened the necklace in the first place.
I cannot comprehend how a person is so entitled that they feel it’s ok to:
1. STEAL ASHES
2. Disrespect the dying wish of the person whose ashes they stole, and
3. Not feel remorseful/blame us for being upset.
Maybe she wanted to secure her place in great grandma's will, or maybe she truly just lacks a moral compass. Either way, I’m infuriated, but sleeping well knowing I have 1 less crazy aunt to deal with.
Here were the top responses from readers:
Could this be considered theft, as in filing a police report?
I’d try to file a police report, or at least publicly shame her. She deserves every last bit of it.
Where did the rest of Beth’s ashes go and is there any chance of getting them back? Maybe a cousin can “need” them for strength and return them?
This is disgusting, your aunt is the worse of the worse. WTAF. Then to say she wouldn't have done if she thought you would have noticed it. She knew exactly what she was doing and she knew it was wrong. Threaten her with civil court if she does not get the ashes back.
Also if she gives you ashes back make sure they are actually the ashes she took. I'm sorry your aunt is so selfish.
Over a month later, the OP returned with an update.
'UPDATE: Entitled Aunt Stole Ashes'
A few months ago, I (20f) posted about how my aunt Kathy (40f) stole my necklace full of my deceased aunt Beth’s ashes and gave them away to my great grandmother, who Beth specifically stated she did not want to end up with. I have come to y'all with an EXPLOSIVE update.
About last week, Kathy accused me of selling marijuana to my cousin (16m). Of course this was a false and completely baseless accusation. I told my mom, and it upset her enough to confront Kathy. Some nasty words were exchanged, which led to my mother exposing the truth about Kathy and the ashes to my other aunts.
In an unexpected turn of events, two of my 3 other aunts knew about the situation! Things went ballistic. My mother was reasonably upset, told them how morally f*cked up they all were, and left it at that. I sent a message to Kathy that basically said “I don’t know what to say, I trusted you. Good luck getting places by f*cking over people who love you,” blocked her, and put it away.
My other aunts have reached out, and I’ve decided to put my relationship with them on the back burner for now.
I thought things were all said and done, until today, when Kathy sent the following message to my mother:
“This will be the last thing, and I will leave you alone. Please know that I am sorry you are hurt. I thought we had already begun our healing process and I was caught off guard by your note. Please, I beg you to be careful about allowing 'OP' to spew poison into our relationship.'
She convinced me to hate her sister before she came down to visit. She filled my head with constant meddling and exaggerated comments. I didn't realize it until OP left and her tricks faded away. OP once told me in the mist of a lie that I caught her in, “wow, my mom usually falls for it , but you can see right through me”
This comment keeps playing in my head and is even louder now. I do not mean to cause a divide between you two, but please be aware she is a loaded gun and is running the show. OP is raged with jealousy and has your complete and undivided attention. You both have every right to be angry but the truth is being twisted by OP.
I really want to work on our relationship…I get if you need space, but please fact check your daughter and don’t reward this self destructing behavior. I tried to have a relationship with her when Aunt 1 was here but she wouldn’t have it. She knew exactly what she was doing and created the awkwardness. I would never keep her from Aunt 1.
She intentionally did this and had you believe it. I will give you space now, but your child is dangerous and your are enabling and empowering her worst trait. I love you OP’s Mom, and will never be mad at you”
She also messaged my sister saying how I allegedly hate her and sh*t talk her frequently. I don’t even know what to say about this message. First and foremost, I feel like she is 100% trying to change the subject from her ash thievery.
Secondly, she is clearly trying to drive a wedge between me and my immediate family because she destroyed her own sister relationships through her reckless actions. Half of the things in the message aren’t even true, and everyone I’ve shown it to has laughed at how ridiculous she sounds.
I’m blessed enough to have a strong bond with my mom and sister, so they fired some shots back in my defense without me even knowing. My family is so f*cked up man.
Here were the top comments after this latest update:
Welcome to the f*cked up family club. Mom needs to respond back, I know the truth stop slandering my daughter, before we get a lawyer involved. Give the ashes back!
They may be messed up, but you know who you can count on. Your mom already talked to her sister's and they know you and they know your aunt, the thief. Your aunt, the thief, knows what she did and how she lied. Let her flap her gums, the smart aunties know who the liar and thief is. Not You!
So 3/4 of her aunts were in on a plan to steal ashes and give them to the grandmother who refused to help pay for her daughters treatment? Man have I never been happier to only see my extended family on special occasions.