'AITA for calling my sister’s wedding a knock-off of my own?'
"AITA for calling my sister’s wedding a knock-off of my own?"
I have always been 'the favorite' among my siblings. As the baby of the family and the only boy, I got doted on a little extra. This extra doting increased when I expressed an interest in dance and actually discovered a talent for it.
This makes sense in my mind: my schedule required more time and money devoted to it since I now had to be taken to classes and showcases, needed the proper attire, etc..
There were a few years of tension between my sisters and I, especially during our teen years, where it seemed like they blamed me for what was going on or expected me to apologize for our parents' choices - something I adamantly refuse to do.
Tensions seemed to ease some when we went our separate ways. My sisters stuck around in our home town to get jobs while I moved to a city about an hour away for college. I met my now husband there and despite what my parents tried to talk us into, we got married in a tiny ceremony at the local courthouse where only immediate family was present.
We had a party with our close friends and family later to celebrate, but the ceremony itself was just like we wanted: a small part of an intimate and peaceful day focused on my partner and I. My oldest sister got engaged a couple months ago, and my parents jumped at the chance to start planning an over the top wedding.
I've been around for some of it and a lot of what is being offered to the new happy couple is what was suggested to my husband and I when they were trying to convince us to have a big wedding. This didn't bother me at all. In fact, I was happy my sister was getting what seemed like the wedding of her dreams.
Unfortunately, it seems she's still holding a grudge over what happened when we were kids and has made multiple jokes about how 'she's the favorite now,' and that this is 'payback' for all the things she missed out on when I was being chauffeured to dance practice.
I took the first few in stride, but it's getting tired now that it's been repeated so many times. I recently told her the jokes were getting old, but that still didn't stop her.
I finally had enough last night and after a few drinks at a little weekend family get together, I told her that her wedding was essentially a knock-off of mine, and that I doubted our parents would be putting this much effort in had I gone through with the extravagant plans they had wanted me to a few years ago. She left the room in tears and I've gotten mixed reactions from family over what I said. AITA?
ETA: I have no interest in special attention from my parents and moved on from the feud with my sisters years ago, as I thought they had as well. I live a good distance from them all with a life of my own, and can only make it back to visit a few times a year.
This doesn’t stem from me craving attention— I’m glad my sister is getting all of it, as my parents have a tend to hover even all these years later. My complaint is in the repeated jokes despite my request that they stop.
Comments:
imothro says:
Yes YTA, and it sounds like you've been TA their entire lives. Then the second the attention was off of you, you decide to try to attack as low as you can instead of being happy that your siblings actually got to experience some of the rarified air you've been in your entire life.
Your sibling taunts you because you are entitled and spoiled and not very likable as a result. You taunted her because you are mean and resent not being the center of attention. YTA.
biscuitboi967 says:
I couldn’t put my finger on why her comments bothered him so much instead of making him at least pity her for being so happy over so little. But you nailed it: HE’S JEALOUS he’s not the star for once. One time he takes a step back, he loses his sh*t.
eresh22 says:
He's not to blame for their parents making him the golden child, but he is responsible for carrying forward the entitlement and continuing to taunt his sisters about him having preferred status. He doesn't owe his sisters an apology for their parents' actions. He does owe them an apology for minimizing their pain and shoving it in their faces.
Being a golden child is also being abused and I hope OP finds a good therapist who can help him heal from that and grow a genuine connection with his sisters.
tyren22 says:
Two wrongs don't make a right, and it's not 'lighthearted' if you're asked to stop repeatedly and you don't. OP's sister was being shitty. ESH. OP's comment was probably unfortunately accurate but as a 'clapback' it was entirely out of proportion.