Parents demand rent starting on daughter's 18th bday, but let 23yo son live for free.
Parents rarely treat their children exactly the same, but most of them try their best to at least appear fair. But sometimes, the difference is staggering.
When a brand-new legal adult (even thought she's a literaly teenager) was faced with responsibilities she didn't anticipate, she came to Reddit to ask:
"AITA for telling my parents if they wanna charge me rent then they need to treat me like an adult?"
Ok-Advance5531 writes:
I (18F) just graduated high school last month, and I will be attending university in the Fall. Since it's summertime, I do work full-time, but I'm not sure how university will affect that when the time comes. I just had my 18th birthday yesterday, it was nothing big, I just went on a shopping spree (with my own money).
When I came home my mother and stepfather decided to sit me down and gave a whole lecture on how I'm an adult and I need to start paying rent because they weren't gonna house adults for free. Even though my stepdad's 23-year-old son lives here for free, but that's beside the point.
I hope there's an explanation for that besides sexism...
They told me that I would start paying $650 every first of the month starting on July 1st. I tried to bring up how my stepbrother doesn't pay anything and it was unfair to spring this on me when I just turned 18, but they responded that I must have the money since I went shopping today.
Now, let me tell you, I pay for everything I have: phone, my car which isn't under any of their names, my clothes, and even the food I eat because they claim I eat too much even though I don't.
She paid for her food while a minor?
So I agreed I would, but then since I was paying for everything I own, they no longer could treat me like I'm a kid.
Instead of them looking at me like I'm their kid/stepkid I would be looked at as a tenant. They no longer could give me curfews, I would be disabling my life360 (a family tracking app), and they no longer could just barge into my room because I pay for it.
And they no longer demand anything from me besides rent on the 1st of every month. I also told them that if they couldn't follow my rules since I'm paying rent then I will go rent a room somewhere else.
This started an argument, and they started yelling about how I'm disrespectful and that this was their house, and they didn't have to follow any rules of mine, so I just left. Now, I've been getting calls from family calling me ungrateful and that my mother could kick me out. So AITA (am I the a-hole)?
Ask the internet, and thou shalt receive...
Here's what Reddit had to say about this family drama.
NTA (Not the a-hole) Tell them if they want rent, you are a tenant, you want a lease and rent receipts. Start looking for alternative places to live. $650 isn't token room and board, it's a substantial amount of money.
INFO: What reason do they give for your brother not paying rent? Is he disabled or something?
OP:
No, he isn't disabled. They want him to be able to buy a house for him and his gf.
NTA (Not the a-hole) and I'm kind of confused that you mother would go along with the idea of charging you rent but not your stepbrother. It's also bizarre that they were so enraged by you spending your own money on yourself for your birthday!!! I can't work out what's going on in their heads here.
Personally, I would strongly consider whether you can move out and rent elsewhere but don't forget that living elsewhere you will need to not only cover rent but also pay for utilities, contents insurance, all of your groceries and toiletries and so on. Make sure you understand the full costs before you leap.
OP replies:
I don't know what's up with parent's letting their sons live rent-free whilst daughters have to fight for their lives as soon as they are 18. I do plan on moving out before the first because my friend actually needs a roommate, and I would be paying around the same amount as my parents expect, except I would have my own bathroom.
NTA. They cannot have it both ways. The fact they have been charging you for food is insane! In the US, parents are legally obligated to provide food and shelter for kids (until adulthood). Honestly, if you are able to afford rent and all the other things you are paying for, you will be better off renting elsewhere.
You are correct that they cannot treat you like a tenant in terms do the finances but then try to exert parental authority over you. It’s one or the other. And it is wildly unfair that they are not charging your stepdad’s son.
I get the feeling the parents are just greedy. They charge OP for food while I'm almost sure they haven't declared her contribution and she's been listed as a dependent for IRS purposes.