Man asks if he was wrong to leave family 'in squalor' and move into hotel.
In a post on Reddit a man (Murky_Ad_193) asked if he was wrong to leave his family to fend for themselves because they were being pains in the hole during a vacation he paid for. Here's his story:
'AITA for leaving my family in 'squalor' and going to a 'resort.''
So let's begin with this. I make decent money but I am in no way rich. [From the comments: He's on oil rig welder]. I like to take my family on vacation and have been stymied for the last couple of years.
So this summer I decided to do something I thought was pretty great. I paid for my family to go to Disneyland. Not just my wife and kids but also my FIL, MIL, my wife's brother and his wife and kids. So ten people.
I also rented a McMansion with a pool and everything. I bought all the groceries and rented a truck so I could ferry the luggage and in case of emergency we would have a vehicle. My kids are in their teens and my nephews are a few years younger. My immediate family did not require any help with the kids. And, realistically, neither did my in laws.
So we get to the house and the problems start. The room I had picked out for my wife and I is obviously the nicest. My father-in-law and mother-in-law chose to stay in the pool house. This left five other bedrooms for six people. BIL/SIL, my two kids, their two kids. Simple right.
Not so fast. Why did I get the best room? They hadn't had some nice time alone in years. Why did my kid pick the room with the ensuite? Why did one room have a bigger tv? Why are we having to cook some meals. Why don't we just order every meal.
JFC. I just went to my room and went to sleep. First day. More BS. Why do we have to wait in lines? Why don't we get the tour guide that lets us skip the lines. My wife started joining in. She said we shouldn't be cooking at the house and that it wasn't fair to her and SIL to be stuck with the cleaning. My kids always help. I do too. BIL sits on his ass though.
My in-laws joined the fun at the end of the day. They didn't want to wait for the Uber. Could they take the truck and meet us back at the house. My wife said to let them.
I got sick of it. I ordered everyone pizza and then while they were gorging themselves I called an Uber and went to a hotel that I am a super shiny member of. I used my points to book a suite for the next six days.
I texted my wife and told her I would catch up with everyone in the morning at the park. She is mad that I left her to deal with those ungrateful greedy people. I'm sitting in the pool enjoying a gin and tonic and writing this because I left the park after I saw the new superhero stuff at the park.
Her brother and sister-in-law are now bugging her to give up the nice room since she is alone. Now she is not on their side. Too late. So. AITA for leaving them to all sort out their own stuff after I went out of my way to do something nice and they crapped all over it?
Edit 1:
If I argue with [my wife's] parents she will side with them. Automatically. And her parents adore her brother even though he is somewhat useless. Not just because of money or anything. He is just a garbage person who thinks the world owes him.
And his wife isn't much better. I would have sworn my nephew's were better though. I have never seen this side of them.
Edit 1:
My wife went beast mode. She is spending the night with me at the hotel. I am back at the house tomorrow. My brother-in-law has been told if he even looks at our room he and his wife are going to a motel.
In-laws were told to Uber wherever they wanted. We are still taking everyone out for one dinner but all other meals not made in the house are pay your own way. And brother-in-law is responsible for cleaning up after meals. Honestly didn't think she had that in her.
Comments:
NTA. This is actually hilarious. You took a vacation from your entitled relatives' vacation. Well, maybe you should have warned your wife and brought her along, and left the other relatives to figure things out for themselves.
I can't even fathom someone sponsoring me for a free vacation like that and saying anything but 'thank you so much, let me get your suitcase for you, this is fantastic!'
Response from OP Murky_Ad_193
Oh yeah this is a one off. Never again. I thought I was doing something the nephews would appreciate but they are also telling me what I should do.
No SH*T. My in-laws take the whole family on a trip every 2 years at Christmas. I thank them profusely, do tech support for their computers, and make them leather goods for free. I could not IMAGINE complaining about anything.
NTA. but did you discuss with your in-laws about sharing costs & expenses? I would insist on that if it were me. glad you took off to focus on yourself. next time don’t ask others to join you. be clear to your kids that it’ll be only family, no relatives, etc.
Response from OP Murky_Ad_193
They couldn't afford it. I was trying to do something nice for them but mostly for my nephews. My wife and kids adore them.
So there you have it. Was it crazy bailing on his own family, or did he do the right thing?