'AITA for telling my dad that I don't care that his stepdaughter died?'

"AITA for telling my dad that I don't care that his stepdaughter died?"

I'm 28 M. My mama died not long after I was born. Dad married Tina (Not her real name) When I was 7. She had a daughter also 7 from a previous relationship, Diana. Me and Diana did not get along. Diana was spoiled and to adult me, it was obvious she resented not being the only child anymore. She took it out on me. She would break my toys and steal my stuff and lie to get me in trouble.

I would complain to dad and Tina, but they told me to get over it. If I did the same, I'd get punished. It only got worse as we got older. I felt abandoned by my dad. I often felt lonely in my house. So I guess you guys can see who the golden child was. At 16, Diana spread a nasty rumor about me in school and I almost got expelled. Diana got caught lying and got suspended. Of course, dad and Tina blamed me for this.

That was the last straw for me. I rang my cousin, Shyla from my mama's side and told her what's been happening. She came over to my house angry at Tina and dad. She gave them a piece of her mind. Dad said if it bothered her so much, then she was welcome to have me. That was a blow to my heart to hear my own dad say that to me.

So me and Shyla went to pack my stuff. Diana's room was open and she was sitting on her bed smirking at me. We got my stuff and we left. I haven't looked back since. Over the years dad or even Diana tried to contact me. But I would block all attempts. Now a week ago, Shyla visited me. She told me that she got a message from dad, for me.

I was surprised she even mentioned dad since she knew how I felt about him. She told me that Diana was in a fatal accident and didn't make it. She said he had wanted to talk to me. Shyla handed me his number and said it's up to me. I did ring him out of curiosity, more than anything. He didn't even recognize my voice.

But when I told him it was me, he broke down crying and most of the time I couldn't make sense of what he was saying. When he calmed down, he said my sister died and it's time to come back home and make things right with each other. I asked what sister? I have no sister! He started crying and saying don't do this! She doesn't deserve this.

This enraged me and I just let out all my anger, hurt, and frustration I had felt towards them and ended with I don't care if she died! My girlfriend who was beside me took my phone off me and ended the call for me. Glad she did, before I had said anymore. She told me later, that I could have been more understanding. I've had time to think over and wonder if she is right and AITA?

The internet had a lot of thoughts.

stringrandom wrote:

NTA. You’ve more or less moved on from your dad’s rejection and you owe him nothing at this point. Could you have been more empathetic? Sure, but he threw away your love and empathy when you were 16. On a side note, you need to have a very serious conversation with your girlfriend about how you were treated growing up.

It can be hard for people who didn’t grow up with sh#$ty parents/families to understand that just because their family was good it’s not the case for you and there is no hope for reconciliation.

Hoplite68 wrote:

NTA. Your father enabled you to be abused in your own home, and then tossed you out when he was called out. Now his golden child is dead he's suddenly remembered he has a consolation child. Hard no. He created this, he put everything in place for this and he's not sorry, he's just sad his favourite child is dead. He's lost two children, and he's the reason he lost one.

He failed as father, he doesn't get to waltz back and pretend nothing happened just because he's feeling sad. You're not a consolation and you don't have to listen to your abuser feel sorry for themselves so they can continue their fantasy and not be held accountable.

Successful_Bath1200 wrote:

NTA. You probably need to tell your GF the full story of your childhood, so she understands why you said what you said. But yes your GF was right to end the call before you said anything else.

ChibiSailorMercury wrote:

He treated you and treats you like the spare kid. Disposable when they had Diana, irreplaceable now that she's dead. They didn't want a relationship with you when you wanted. Why should they get a relationship with you now that they want one and now that you don't? Two-way street. NTA.

OP is NTA here, his father is finally feeling the weight of his own choices.