Man angry after wife says he'll buy extended family drive-thru order. AITA?

Arguing over the money required for a family outing is a recipe for mess. Any married couple with kids knows this story, and yet, that doesn't stop the arguments from happening.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for fighting with his wife over milkshakes at the drive-thru.

He wrote:

AITAH my wife and I got into an argument over McDonald’s milkshakes and it’s now blown out of proportion?

So we had plans to go out to dinner tonight. We took two cars. One car with my family of five plus a nephew then another car with two sisters, an uncle, and a niece. We get to the restaurant and the wait ends up being two hours long so my wife calls her sisters waiting in the car and they immediately agree to go back to the rental to eat dinner.

The sisters will pick up groceries to make mozzarella cheese tomato basil sandwiches for dinner. I know my kids will not eat that so I tell the wife I’m going thru McDonald’s for the kids. The wife calls her sisters to make sure they don’t get offended we’re going thru McDonald’s for the kids and also to ask if we can order the nephew a Big Mac like he wants. Here’s where the argument started.

I tell my wife not to offer to buy them dinner. I don’t want to buy everyone dinner tonight. I’ll buy everyone in my van dinner, but they’re in the car right behind us. If they want McDonald’s then they can drive thru the line. Also, I know they won’t pay us for whatever they want because “family” and we’re sharing. I have no problem with sharing either.

I’ve bought the most groceries for everyone but this instance they’re in the car right behind us so they can get their own food. My wife, of course, asks them if they want anything. Now, my first thought was I didn’t want to buy combo meals for everyone but that didn’t happen, they just wanted two milkshakes. But at this point, I was already upset she asked. I did order the milkshakes on a second ticket.

When we got to the window my wife handed me her CC to pay for the milkshakes. She didn’t offer to buy the kids dinner or anything else but just milkshakes. She then proceeded not to talk to me for the rest of the ride home. She doesn’t talk to me when we got home, I go to the bedroom for 30 minutes and when I come back I ask her if she’s still mad and she is.

I end up stewing alone on the front patio all night until everyone goes to bed. We did talk for ten minutes on the patio where she told me I was unreasonable and “overly aggressive.” Maybe unreasonable bc the order ended up just being two milk shakes for ten dollars but in no way was in “overly aggressive.' Stupidest argument in the world but I’m not apologizing and neither is she.

People weighed in with all of their thoughts.

Wandering_aimlessly9 wrote:

I think you guys have a lot more issues than two milkshakes. I also think if this causes you to drink all night…that you might have another problem. But that’s just food for thought and I’m not making an accusation.

Hadtosignuptofothis wrote:

YTA, They offered to make everyone dinner. You’re the one who decided to get the kids McDonalds. They you got all bitter and twisted about your wife offering to do WHAT THEY had just done and get them something…two milkshakes. You got off cheap and got dinner made for you- rather than spending it at the restaurant. Apologize already.

dehydratedrain wrote:

YTA. They already agreed on sandwiches. You chose an alternative for your kids. That isn't buying 'everyone' dinner. Then you locked yourself away in the bedroom, followed by drinking alone all night? Yeah, I'd say this is blown out of proportion. Suck it up, apologize, and move on.

QueenYeen wrote:

YTA. What everyone saying about them paying for/making dinner is true. They also shouldn't have to go through the drive-thru if you already are, it's unnecessary AND it would've meant they'd start dinner even later than they already were going to bc you didn't want to be courteous The fact they were already going to make dinner also heavily implied they wouldn't want much, you were just catastrophizing

But, and this is kinda the biggest part to me: Buying everyone McDonald's combos was still going to be cheaper then the dinner at the restaurant you didn't have. You were still going to come out ahead even if they ordered for everyone. Because of that, it's kinda just an AH move to be stingy and sulk over the situation.

Cute_Upstairs266 wrote:

YTA. First, it’s just common courtesy to offer “hey, I’m going to McDonald’s, do you want anything?” I get it that you don’t want to pay, so you either tell them how much it was after the purchase or you suck it up. Either way, offering to get them something is just the right way to function in a civilized world.

Second, you are being aggressive in your comments and I can imagine you were being aggressive with your wife too. You said being aggressive is not being overly aggressive, but it is. Third, drinking all night because you had to pay for two milkshakes? Your pity party was probably more expensive than the issue.

And fourth, sometimes you just need to apologize and move on from small stupid arguments. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong, the relationship is more important.

OP is clearly TA in this situation, and if he knows what's good for him, he'll apologize and move on.