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Woman says mom is 'taking over her pregnancy,' comments advise a clean break.

Woman says mom is 'taking over her pregnancy,' comments advise a clean break.

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My mom is taking over my pregnancy and I’m devastated. (TW: miscarriages)

When I was 23 I had my first miscarriage. Over the next 4 years I had 3 more. All of these happened fairly early on, before we found out the sex. Currently I am 18 weeks pregnant, and we wanted to keep it under wraps until we found out the sex due to previous events.

My mom found out I was pregnant when I was about 10 weeks. She immediately went and told my dad, grandma (who is a gossip and told the rest of the family), and my MIL (who thankfully told off my mom and didn’t say anything to anyone else).

This week we found out we’re having a baby girl, and that she seems completely healthy. We had a family dinner planned for last night at our place, and while I was cooking dinner my mom went through my purse and found our baby girl's pictures.

She ended up taking pictures of them and sending them to both my family and my husband’s. I got so many texts and calls with congratulations, and telling me what my mom did.

I flipped out on my mom because this was my first pregnancy to get this far, and we wanted to do this on our terms. She went off on me about how I couldn’t give her a grandkid and it’s not her fault that she’s excited.

I’m absolutely devastated, this is the farthest I’ve gotten in any of my pregnancies and the healthiest I’ve been as well. I just wanted to have a stress free pregnancy and my mom has made it horrible for me.

Here were the top comments, with a clear through-line of advice.

sillyshepherd

Your feelings are totally valid. Absolute jerk move from mom here.

PA_Archer

“Mom. Enjoy the pics you Stole. You will be getting zero updates from me. YOU are making this pregnancy more difficult for me, and the stress you add ups my risk factor.

Let’s be very clear: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!!”

mizzyvonmuffling

WHAT THE?
CUT HER OFF!!! Block her and major info-diet. She's grossly overstepping and you don't need this. You need peace in your life and she's making it hell for you. Seriously, block her....

Info: what does your husband say about this all?

Talathia

WTF your mom is horrible. Consider going little or no contact. This is your pregnancy, and your mom has no rights when it comes to how you handle your pregnancy. This is not okay, and you are very justified in being upset.

Nodak1954

Go no contact with your mom until after the baby is born! It may seem extreme but it relieve a lot of stress though out your pregnancy. Plus you’ll get your privacy back.

MommyLow5

I’m so sorry. I had a family member post delivery room photos of my baby boy completely naked and screaming, which happened to show me in the background, my legs spread apart in stirrups, blood and all, with a tiny little surgical towel covering my downstairs.

So my sons birth was all over FB before we even got to let people know. My reason for terrorizing you with that visual, is that it really does cement my belief that babies (and weddings) bring out the absolute worst in people.

All of a sudden, this life changing event is all about them and their “world’s best grandparent” FB posts. It’s so frustrating, and was one of the events that forced me to set real boundaries with people.

I do want to mention, congratulations to you! Don’t let anyone take away your joy over this soon to be little person!! A daughter! How amazing is that?? So much luck to you for a safe and easy delivery! Edit bc I’m the grammar 👮🏻.

Libra_8118

Tell your OB staff she is not to be in the delivery room. Just you and your husband. She can wait in the waiting room and see the baby when you are ready.

Faithful_athiest

I can only begin to imagine the horrors of growing up with a mom like this. I'm sure this isn't the first time she's completely treated you like an object and not a person. I'd be thinking about cutting her off.

I mean, now she's stressed you out and threatened your pregnancy. Do you want someone like this around your child after she's born. It's not just you she's hurting anymore

TKyzr

I have a feeling her intrusiveness isn’t limited to your pregnancy. To have this much gall to invade every precious and private moment associated with your pregnancy and broadcast it as if it’s her news has some strong narcissistic flags going.

Super lean Info diet for sure. But it sounds like you need to go LC with her before she starts proclaiming it her baby and demanding grandparents rights.

Restingbface8

She went thru your purse? Then sent the pics? That would be the last time my mom was allowed in the house

Simply_stayce

I had already moved states and put my mom on an info diet when I got pregnant, but she totally would’ve posted that on Facebook and I would’ve been enraged.

Silversong_0713

Go NC with your mom she’s a shitty narcissistic garbage human who doesn’t deserve grandkids

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