Ideally, when you're having relationship issues you'll be able to work it out without a third party.
But sometimes calling in a friend or family member is just what's needed to communicate firmly or settle a score.
She wrote:
AITA for calling my mom when my husband refused to listen to me?
I (26f) recently moved into my first home. I am also 4 months pregnant with our first baby. The pregnancy has been very hard. I have horrible morning sickness.
It reached a really bad point where I passed out, hit my head, and my doctor admitted me to the hospital for a week. When I got home my husband allowed his brother's family to move into 2 of our 3 bedrooms.
They were evicted, but I don't know why. The room that was my office, was now a mess, with papers everywhere. The house was a complete wreck. Trash, dirty clothes, used diapers. I started to cry.
It was like a light flipped, my husband was no longer the same. My husband told me it 'wasn't that bad.' My reply was 'fine then you should have the house cleaned up before I wake up.' Completely exhausted I fell asleep for 4 hours.
I woke up and went to get a drink of water. I couldn't, every glass we own was scattered around the house. They didn't clean a single thing. I passive aggressively started to pick up the dirty dishes and washed them.
The following morning I was trying my best to work while their kids were crying non-stop. Banging on the walls so on. Their mom was in her room for hours ignoring them. Then my husband came home.
He was upset with me over how I didn't make his brother's wife feel welcome in our home by helping with their kids when she was tired. Then continued to complain how nothing was done while he was at work all day in the house.
Yep, the same one he didn't clean. That lead to a fight where I told him. 'I am too sick to have company and they need to leave'. To which he replied they are his family and he won't kick them out. I started to cry again.
I was beyond frustrated, exhausted, I physically couldn't do it anymore. I called my mom asking if I could come stay with her. Telling her the whole story in front of my husband.
Who at this point was completely shocked, angry, also I could tell he wasn't sure what to do. My mom came with my brothers (I have 3 older brothers). My mom super angry told my husband.
'Since your family can stay so can we.' My mom quickly took charge. I was sent to bed. My brother's started cleaning complaining loudly at how disgusting my BIL family is.
Along with what a horrible husband my husband is for putting me through this while I am sick.
I got a text message from my MIL for calling me an A for not helping my husband clean up the house and putting my BIL in a uncomfortable position by having my mom boss him around.
People quickly weighed in.
TerrifiedSquid wrote:
Wait..your MIL called...to fuss at you for INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER?!
There's this pot kettle thing.
NTA 1000%. But house guests in a shared home require TWO yesses and only one no. Both of you agree or it shouldn't happen. Your husband has treated you abominably. I'm not sure I could deal with that honestly.
Can you go stay with your mom?
mdthomas wrote:
I mean this in the nicest way possible: please start prepping for divorce. Your husband moved people into the home without consulting with you first. He is prioritizing their needs over the needs of his wife and unborn child. NTA.
TinyBlonde15 wrote:
Your mom is mom of the year. So are your brothers. Lovely problem-solving. Husband won’t take care of your needs NEEDS btw not wants. Rest is a need. Clean dishes to eat off is a need. Wtf.
shadow-foxe wrote:
NTA. So while you are in hospital, your husband without even asking you moves in his brother's family. WOW. His family, he cleans. I'd be making him attend some therapy sessions because he needs a huge wake-up call.
a-mullins214 wrote:
NTA. Once you heard him say sorry to your mom did you tell anyone what your MIL texted you? I would out her so fast to your mom and she if she apologizes.
Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly wrote:
NTA- also, since BIL and his family are living with you rent-free, the least they should do while you are pregnant and Ill is make your life easier, not harder. They should be cooking meals and cleaning so you can rest.
OP, have you been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarium? If not, get your OB to do so if possible. You will need care for a high risk pregnancy.
Clearly, OP is so far from TA it's not even a possibility. Her husband, however, needs to seriously course change if he wants the marriage to last.