Woman accidentally leaves niece crying while sister runs errand; sister is furious. AITA?

Communication is everything, and sadly, there are a lot of ways for it to be botched. The stakes of botched communication can range from an awkward conversation to actual danger.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not watching her niece because she didn't hear the request through her headphones. She wrote:

"AITA for not looking after my infant niece while my sister had to run errands?"

I feel really bad and need an unbiased opinion. I (28f) am currently living with my sister (32f) and my niece who is 5 months old. My sister asked me to move in with her as she was separating from her partner and needed someone to help with the bills. I cover the majority of rent payments for the house and bills since my sister is not fully back to work yet.

On the days she is working it is usually our mother who looks after my niece. Now I mainly work from home and due to how loud both my niece and my sister are and the job specifics I wear good noise-cancelling headphones (I also have a room with my own bathroom).

I told my sister multiple times if she needs anything and I haven't responded to a knock she needs to come into my room and tap me to get my attention otherwise I would simply won't hear her and wouldn't know if she needs anything. However, my sister keeps forgetting it. Last Friday was very hectic at my work so I ended up working 12 hours and had some snacks to get me going.

I had no knowledge of my sister asking anything of me since I sit opposite the door I also haven't seen her coming into my room since she didn't tap me on my shoulder as we agreed. Apparently, she had to run a few errands at work and had no one to leave my niece with, and decided to leave her with me since she would be a few hours.

Because I had no idea of her plans and she hasn't followed what I have asked her to do. My niece was left unattended for over 3 hours and was crying her eyes out for god knows how long. I only found out about it when my sister returned home (I was still working and had my headphones on) as she ripped the headphones off my head and started shouting at me and calling me an AH for not attending to my niece.

I explained to her I had no idea she was gone or my niece was crying (to add, I don't look at my phone during work hours and after I have checked there were no messages or missed calls from my sister). I feel really bad about the entire situation, so wanted to check if I am an AH as my sister still wouldn't talk to me and makes it sound like I did it on purpose.

People kept it real in the comments.

pacazpac wrote:

You ALWAYS ALWAYS verbally confirm with somebody if you are leaving your child with them. You don't just holler that you're leaving. You don't assume they heard you. You get a verbal response. This was her screw-up, not yours. You did absolutely nothing wrong and you are NTA.

doomspark wrote:

NTA. You are working. You are covering the majority of the bills currently. You have a procedure in place that is supposed to be followed when your sister wants you to take care of your niece. You have explained this procedure to your sister multiple times. Your sister didn't follow this procedure. Absolutely NTA.

Such-Awareness-2960 wrote:

NTA. You need to move out. You moved in to help your sister out. From your post you are paying most of the rent. At this point, you are financially supporting yourself, your sister, and your niece. So being able to focus on your job is extremely important.

If you can't pay the bills then who will as it doesn't sound like your sister is able to support herself a00% right now. Instead of feeling guilt for your sister's error. Move out. Your sister doesn't appreciate your help. She feels entitled to it.

pumpkinspicenation wrote:

NTA. Lemme walk you through this. You have explained your work situation to your sister multiple times. Your sister up and left the house and her FIVE MONTH OLD BABY without telling you. Only when she gets back and discovers the baby crying is she able to remember the noise-canceling headphones.

You should honestly give her a warning that if she does this again you're out. Or if she does this again you're calling CPS. How incredibly selfish of her.

airazaneo wrote:

NTA - Your sister is negligent. She didn't even seek your agreement before she left. If she goes at you again, ask her when did you agree to watch the child? What time did you look at her and tell her it was fine for you to babysit?

Or at what time did you text back to say it was ok to watch the child. You didn't because she didn't actually ask you. She told you and left before she got an answer. Which is negligent.

OP is definitely NTA here, but her sister seriously needs to reconsider how she "arranges" babysitting.