'AITA for refusing to host a birthday party because my nephew isn’t allowed in my house?'

"AITA for refusing to host a birthday party because my nephew isn’t allowed in my house?"

I (24 F) live on a four-acre property that I bought for cheap from my grandma who moved to a retirement community. My nephew is turning 16 at the end of the month. My sister asked if we could host his party here on the “family property” meaning at my house. I told her no, because my nephew is not allowed at my house.

My nephew does not respect boundaries and treats everything like his plaything, including the boundaries of my older black lab, Davos. He constantly chases him around and tries to pick him up despite me telling him to constantly leave him alone. Davos has arthritis and can’t be chased around and hates loud noises which my nephew is very loud. As far as I know, he is neurotypical.

My sister blew up at me telling me I was putting a dog before my nephew and it was grandma’s property that I can’t dictate. I told her it was my property, I bought it and tended it and pay all the bills for it. My mom called me and asked if I could just put Davos in a room during the party and suck it up for just a day, but I said no. This is his house and he’s allowed to go wherever he wants and I won’t shut him in a room.

Now my family is divided, some of them calling me immature and selfish and others saying I’m right, while some including my father refuse to get involved. Am I the @$$hole?

EDIT: To add bc I’ve gotten this question a couple times if the other members of the family were offered the house. My Nana and I have always had a very close relationship, and I’ve helped her tend the property for as long as I can remember. So she offered to sell it to me when she grew too old to tend to it herself.

So no, other family members weren’t given the opportunity to buy it but they also weren’t interested in it. It is very old and outdated and my sister especially always talked about how much she hated the aesthetic of the house.

The sole reason she wants to host it here is because my house has the most space. It’s not a sentimental space for her. Someone identified me so unfortunately I have to take down the dog tax.

The comment section quickly filled up with people's hot takes.

BigComfyCouch4 wrote:

Your nephew (and his mother) are learning that actions have consequences. Best birthday gift you could give him. NTA.

owls_and_cardinals wrote:

NTA. If the almost-16-year-old wasn't a terror, this would be a non-issue. Your sister says 'you're putting a dog over a person' because she knows that on the surface that would sound inappropriate or imbalanced.

The REAL issue is that an elderly dog would not be a barrier to a party necessarily if you could trust your family members to all behave and be respectful. Kids MUCH younger than 15 can typically manage basic rules around an old or ailing pet, and it's not your fault that he cannot.

Edit: Oh ALSO the total @$$holery and entitlement of your sister expecting to be able to use your property for this party! What a trip. She sounds like she's quite an AH on multiple levels, including in her dismissiveness of your ownership of the property and expectations that she has access to it as if it is somehow communal/family space.

Electronic_Fox_6383 wrote:

NTA, but could the nephew be put in a room, lol?

BurnAfterEating420 wrote:

This sounds VERY familiar, as I have a beach house I inherited from my grandfather and had to take out a mortgage to pay my sister off for 'her share' of it. To this day she still calls is 'our beach house' and tries to demand use of it because it belongs to the family. Every time, I remind her about the enormous check I handed her and ask her if that is still 'our money.'

JessBx05 wrote:

NTA. It is your house, you bought it, you own it, it is not a family property anymore. Your sister is sh#$%y to assume you will host the party. Why on earth doesn't she?! And the 16-year-old sounds horrible. I wouldn't want them in my house either. If anyone treated my cat like that they would be banned for life. No is a complete sentence. Say it and stick to it.