Woman makes SIL leave son's party for loudly mocking ex husband's stutter. AITA?
She warned her SIL to stop and now her family is angry at her for kicking her out.
One woman writes about throwing a party for her son's 5th birthday. She had since divorced and remarried but had a good relationship with her ex husband, the father of their child. So, she felt very comfortable and that is was more than fitting that be there to celebrate his son. She knew that her ex husband was self-conscious about his stutter and so she made a point of letting her husband's familly know so that he would not be uncomfortable. So, when her sister-in-law started loudly making jokes when his stutter would act up she told her to get out. Now, her family is telling her that she ruined her own son's party.
'AITA for asking my SIL to leave my son birthday party and possibly ruining it by doing so?'
I (27F) have a 5 years old son with my ex. I’m still in good terms with him and he’s a good dad to our son. He also has a stutter and he’s very insecure about it.
It was my son’s birthday party 3 days ago and the first time my husband’s family was meeting my ex so I’ve told them about my ex’s stutter and asked them to please not make any remarks.
Everybody got the message and was very patient with him except my SIL I guess, because during their first conversation together, my ex had a bit of difficulties to finish a sentence and my SIL started huffing in annoyance and i just gave her a 'stop it' look.
During another conversation, my ex, once again, had trouble with finishing a sentence and my SIL said 'Maybe we need to come back tomorrow and by then, his sentence will be finished' which made other people laugh but not my ex.
So I took my SIL aside and told her to quit and if she had such an issue talking to my ex, she should go talk with others people. She promised she’d stop and we left it at that.
But during yet another conversation, when my ex’s stutter showed again, she said 'So, are you gonna finish that one or should we just move to something else?'
At this point I had enough and finally asked her to leave. I told her that if she couldn’t be respectful of my ex’s stutter then her place wasn’t here. She protested and said I couldn’t kick her out of her nephew birthday party but I answered that I could.
My husband arrived and also told her to leave to not avoid any further drama. She agreed and left.
Once everybody left, my husband started yelling that my behavior was embarrassing, that I ruined my son’s party for childish drama and that his parents were now mad at both of us for kicking my SIL out. Apparently they said they wouldn’t allow me in their house again if I didn’t apologized to her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
NTA. It is not childlish drama, it's ableism and straight-up bullying. I have a speech impairment and difficulties with phrasing what I think, and people really often do similar things when I'm talking.
The one thing I moticed, it's always people who are already trying to undermine me or make me seem less than them, and I believe that your SIL already wanted to make your ex feel unwelcome (at his own son's event, wtf). Your SIL is TA, a huge one.
No surprise your SIL is such a disrespectful horror of a human being if everyone around her not only accepts her poor behaviour but basically rewards it by forcing others to condone it.
Nta. But go petty. Call your in laws and say “I’m sorry you failed to raise your daughter without basic social graces. I’m sorry that you’ve allowed her to become a bully. I’m sorry that I can’t co sign her behavior like you do.“
NTA. For kicking your rude SIL out of the party. YTA. For marrying into a family that feels her behavior is okay.
You could lose the moral high ground by telling your husband that not being allowed in his mother's house is the one win for you out of this situation. I would.
Wow, NTA at all, but wow, the family you married into is horrid, and just imagine their treatment had your son also had a speech impediment???
Common decency aside, the SIL needed to be removed for your sons benefit. Your son should not be around someone like that and witness someone mocking and belittling his father for no reason. That is completely unacceptable. I would be extremely wary of the 'humor,' and examples your husband and his family are setting for your son.
Your husband's reaction to this was a giant red flag, and this wasn't little, childish, or petty. Also the party wasn't ruined, I would imagine the absence of a grown adult making fun of someone's stutter at a child's birthday party could only improve the party.