Woman calls mom 'heartless' after she threw away 4-year-old's drawings. AITA?

Name-calling almost never feels good after the fact. Even if you mean the harsh words with all your heart, there can be a hangover of sorts that comes with saying something that can't be unsaid, particularly towards someone you love.

But we're all fallible, and the heat of the moment can bring out some intense statements.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for calling her mom heartless during an argument.

She wrote:

AITA for calling my mom a heartless b**ch?

I have a 4-year-old son and I had him at 16. It was a complicated situation. My parents said that the only thing that they’d provide me with is my room and I have to care for the baby myself. It was hard but it worked out in the end. My parents treat my son a lot nicer now too.

My brother just turned 14 and he’s the best. In fact, my son looks up to him and my brother adores him. My son made this drawing of him and my brother and gave it to my brother for his birthday. My brother loved it so much that he kind of brushed off the presents me and my parents gave him. It upset my parents but they kept their mouths shut.

My son draws so many pictures of him and his uncle now and he gives every single one to my brother and my brother puts every single one on his wall. My brother was at a sleepover and I had taken my son out for a fun day. When we got back, my son ran to my brother’s room to show him something. The door was wide open and the first thing he noticed was that all his drawings were gone.

He just began to cry and cry and it took forever to calm him down. He eventually went to sleep. My brother came back the next day and when he went to hug my son, he started to cry. My brother was confused so I told him that he saw the empty wall. My brother was still confused so he went to his room and came back really upset.

He said that he didn’t do that and he’s actually going to cry as well because he liked those drawings. My mom came down and he immediately confronted her and she just said that she didn’t realize how much he liked those drawings and took them down while she was cleaning his room. I was mostly shocked.

She was there the night before when my son saw the wall and started crying and she was comforting my son and everything. I felt betrayed. I called her out for how she acted last night and she told me to relax. That I’m not allowed to speak to her like that. I honestly lost it and I called her a heartless b**ch. My own mother.

I felt bad the second I said it but it felt good to. My mom looked so shocked and just turned back and went to her room. My dad confronted me later and yelled at me for what I said. He said that regardless of what she did, she’s my mom and when he wanted to kick me out, mom’s the one who convinced him to let me and my baby stay. AITA? I feel guilty now.

Edit:

She didn’t take them down temporarily. She took them down and threw them out. And it wasn’t just random drawings stuck to a wall, it was organized and laid out with a lot of care.

The comment section was lively.

Nessie51 wrote:

NTA. Wow your mum has some serious jealousy issues going on there. I really hope she doesn’t cause any damage to the relationship between your brother and your son.

dunks615 wrote:

NTA. Sounds like your mom's playing mind games. It’s obvious that they mean a lot to both your son and your brother. A 14-year-old wouldn’t put up stuff all over their walls that they don’t want up.

Sounds like she was stirring the pot purposefully to try to get a reaction from you so that she could then come in and “save the day” by letting you stay. So she both caused the issue and she’s the “good guy” in the situation.

mayfeelthis wrote:

NTA your mom was. Sucks you called her that, and she’s n a h for being hurt by it. That’s besides the greater issue here. What did your dad say about her taking the pictures down and throwing it out?

JKristiina wrote:

NTA. What your mother did was wrong, and she didn’t do anything to rectify the situation once she realized how upset your son was. She should give them back so that your brother can put them back. It is his room after all, he should be able to decide what are on his walls?

ChihuahuaSighs wrote:

NTA, sounds like their current resentment is going to become a future resentment when they don't get to see their grandchild grow up.

Your mom sounds jealous and spiteful. Unless she regularly goes around wiping walls down, there was no reason for her to do what she did. It sounds like their behavior towards you is to perpetually punish you, and punishing your son in the process.

You're not wrong that your mom's behavior was very wrong, but you may want to apologize in order to have a roof over your head. You may want to plan on moving out though. Your brother will be old enough soon to decide he wants to visit you and your child on his own.

However, if we could imagine a different type of response from you to your mother in that situation, maybe it would be one where you or your brother ask where the drawings are and to put them back up?

Whatever her answer is (maybe she says 'I threw them away', or 'I don't want things hanging on the walls anymore'), you and your brother should remind your son that he would like to keep them up, and that he loves him and loves his drawings just the same. Best of luck, sounds like you at least have a great brother.

OP is NTA here, her mother is, and this is an instance where the name-calling fits the crime.